Who decides???

True confession… my head feels, in this moment, like someone has taken my neatly sorted plastic boxes of quilt scraps and dumped them in the road and run over them a few times!

All the bits which made sense among their color or pattern or designer friends are now in chaos.

And yes, I’ve been watching the news.

We’re going to call that context for the story I want to share…

Fair warning… a bit of time travel will be involved!

In July of this year I was in France. Not just in the contemporary nation of acres of blooming sunflowers and fabulous food and art, but in the places where my ancestors stood in the Middle Ages. In the places where some of them lost their lives for their spiritual beliefs.

In January of 1989 I was in Hungary with a group of students from Columbia Theological Seminary. I passed through customs into – and out of – a communist country. I sat in worship with women on one side of the sanctuary and men on the other. Church was permitted. Christian Education was not.

I visited a Jewish Rabbinical Seminary – the only one in Eastern Europe to survive World War II – where students removed their shoes before entering the library… a place which had not been permitted to acquire any new writings since before the war began.

There was a lot of conversation on that journey about the Protestant Reformation.

The simplistic explanation for that time in history would be the break of Lutherans and Calvinists from the Roman Catholic Church.

I’ve recently learned that The Reformation was considerably more complicated than I once understood. And I had relatives involved in that, too. Many of them European women with enough resources to be able to read and write and support the education of girls.

Lately, l’ve taken to watching Madam Secretary on Netflix. For the uninitiated, Secretary of State, Elizabeth McCord, is married to a religious ethics scholar named Henry. In one episode, Henry explains that the Reformation happened because of the printing press… because scripture could be printed in the language of real people who could then read for themselves instead of only hearing what priests chose to share, in Latin.

Which brings us back to the news. Here’s what I heard…

The battles over the Department of Justice, and the national budget, and election fraud, and having enough personnel to run the military, and civil rights, and the education our children will receive all boils down to who gets to decide who gets to decide.

And, in my opinion, in this place at this time, the answer still needs to be we, the people.

Which, clearly, isn’t easy.

It means that we, the people need to show up. Even when it’s hard.

And, yes, I took a break today for painting and energy healing!

Then, I went back to the thing I call Filters, and my process for getting it out into the world.

It’s coming! Soon!!! (The videos are done…)

And, it’s my best way of being the printing press in the face of all the AI stuff in our world.

For now, though… one more story from Hungary. A group of us were speaking with a young Hungarian seminary student. He told us that he and his friends were raised with the need to wake up every morning and find out who was in charge and where they lived.

I was horrified, then.

I’m way too close to relating, now.

If you’re still reading, I’ll bet you already get it, but please, please, please… ask the hard questions. Get involved. And check your voter registration! Your voice matters… now more than ever before in your life.

And, yes…

I have 2 granddaughters trying very hard to grow up in this world!

The Rev Dr Susan L Boardman, Gnostic Judeo-Christian Mystic Medicine Woman, walking the Way of Love (aka: The Fiercely Compassionate Rebel Grandmother, For Rent!)

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Once upon a time…

Jed Bartlet was having a rough day on The West Wing. (It had something to do with the TV Republicans!)

Leo, his Chief of Staff, asked the President how he was doing.

Bartlet: Vexed, riled, irked… Ticked, honked, pissed.

I was right beside him!

Yes, the news was enough. The garden guy’s helper cutting the tv/internet cable sealed the deal!

Thirty hours later, we’re back in business. (Not that anybody was counting!)

Along the way, I noticed a couple of cool things…

I lived without MSNBC. Possibly, with better blood pressure!

I got all my prep work for Filters videos done even though our tech challenges were messing with my calendar! (And they’re going to be even better because I did a bit more noticing of my own limiting beliefs!!!)

I also noticed some interesting internal reactions while I was sorting the calendar elves… like things I was sad to change and things I wasn’t!

All of that happened yesterday, when I had no idea when the world as I’ve come to depend on it would be working again. And, then, today arrived. And I did a really unusual thing.

I declared today PAINT DAY!

The whole day! (Okay… time out for telling you about it!)

You see, not only did I have several #wip’s looking for attention, I needed dot time. Here’s a small glimpse of what happened:

You, wise reader, may be wondering what the prayers were behind all those dots!

And, yes… there’s an answer.

Intention!

Just like the frog at the top! (Thanks, Pete!)

You see, I’ve been busy noticing and wondering. And it’s time to make some choices based on what I’ve learned. Time, in many ways, to act on my deepest hopes.

It’s a bit early for details just yet. There are other dreams and calendars and challenges involved.

I feel really good, though, about listening to my dreams.

And, admittedly, a bit anxious. Dreams bring changes. Risks, even. And, quite probably the need to learn more new things.

The fact that I love learning doesn’t mean it isn’t scary, sometimes!

So… more dots. Dots which will be, before long, the petals of Oakleaf Hydrangeas, with thanks that we have a home and hope for those who are longing for home.

And some more, still, for a deeply courageous woman named Jen who told her tragic healthcare story on MSNBC tonight. May we have ears to hear!

And a special deal for you… a pre-sale offer on the Filters videos!!! If you’re ready to take the next steps toward that place where your greatest hope meets the world’s deepest needs, this is for you! Just click here…

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Notes on an Encounter with Chaos… or, a deep peek into the Medicine Basket!

First, chaos is a very good description of my dreams last night!

Dreams of the been here before sort. And the pace picked up considerably after I went back to sleep early this morning. (Grandmother Moon was on the job!)

The short version is that I was wandering in the place where history meets the present moment, no matter how much we might wish it didn’t!

And, yes… we’re talking 9/11. How could we not be???

On September 11, in 2001, I was propped up in bed, days out of the hospital, laptop at hand, working on final galley proofs for an upcoming issue of Monday Morning Magazine, of which I was the the editor. Then, the phone rang.

It was the Legendary Husband who said, simply, “Turn on the TV!” and hung up.

I did. And you know what I saw.

Chaos for which I had no box in my brain!

Phone calls were the next right thing. I knew people who worked in the Pentagon. Then, pain meds for the blown disc in my back. Then, panic.

I was supposed to get on a plane to California. My first semester at Pacifica Graduate Institute was about to begin and I was suddenly terrified. Of flying.

Our September class was cancelled. The reading was not. And, when I woke this morning, the first place I headed was a particular bookshelf in my section of our vast library.

Bound copies of Monday Morning from my time as editor. And, rather ironically, a collection of papers from my time at Pacifica. Not all of them… just the ones that mattered to me!

Then, a brief detour to another bookshelf… the one where the biggest, best things I know live. It didn’t take me long to put my hands on this:

Thus empowered with context and memories, I was ready for tea.

First, hear me say that if you haven’t read Van Eenwyk’s book, please do. It’s brilliant. In fact, the preacher/therapist in me appreciates it even more since I’ve become an artist!

For now, though… a bit of my paper entitled, like this post, Notes on an Encounter with Chaos. It begins this way:

I have a secret.

When I get really stressed — when the chaos in my world gets too big or too close, I iron.

Please don’t call me Martha Stewart! It’s not about impressing the neighbors. Nor do I believe it’s impossible for normal humans to feel loved if their pillowcases are not perfectly pressed, monogram and all.

I iron because it is a kinesthetic, olfactory, visual experience of making order out of chaos. Vintage linens are best. If there aren’t any around waiting to be ironed, which is a rare circumstance in my home, I’ll even wash some just so I can iron them!

What I’ve realized, though, as I pondered this assignment, is that my ironing is not simply about the comfort of warm linen under my fingertips, or that peculiar clean scent of steam, or even the gratifying sight of stacks of scraps redeemed from the laundry basket and made beautiful again but, rather, it’s about distracting my either/or conscious mind so that my more creative both/and unconscious mind can work.

Kind of surprisingly, in retrospect, the next line reads:

Painting works, too, by the way!

And, it does! In many, many more ways than I knew in 2001!!! (Starting with the hundreds of dots I made last night!)

In case you’re wondering… no, I don’t iron so much anymore. It’s the order out of chaos bit that matters! Perhaps more now, than ever.

You see, it feels as if there is more chaos to come. Not only in the USA, but in the world.

I have a plan. A three-part plan. It’s not all poetic yet, but it exists and, yes, this is where my Medicine Basket comes in!

  1. Re-read Archetypes & Strange Attractors.
  2. Keep creating! Paint, words, models for sharing… all the things my mind is quilting together in new ways! (Like Filters!)
  3. Put myself out there. (Gulp!) From the book hatching inside me – already known as Revelation! – to teaching and coaching – to an absolute dedication to voting. It’s time!

And one more thing… a vocabulary lesson!

It’s a word you’ve probably heard me mention before. A Hebrew word.

tzcar

It means to remember. It also means to remind! And, now, dear heart, is the time for that!

ps… need help putting yourself out there? Or getting ready to? That’s what I do! To get started, just ask the calendar elves for 45 min. My gift. And, hurry! The fall calendar is filling up!!!

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Yep! One of “those” days…

Well, actually, a couple of them!

The Legendary Husband arrived home from his annual Labor Day field trip with a not-yet-specified coughing and snuffling thing. It’s less scary than it was, but – given the last couple of years – I’m anxious.

I had to skip physical therapy, given the germ uncertainty.

The dryer died. The new one arrived, but without a magic thingy to make it – you know – work. And, yes… there’s laundry waiting in heaps. At least until Friday!

Then there’s the Green Acres adventure. (Remember the old TV show???) Let’s just say that we are seeking an electrician with Nancy Drew aspirations!

Nobody’s sleeping well. Including the people firing guns at about 3:30 am. (I wish they were fireworks, but they weren’t.)

Blessedly, those are not the only things that are true!

The studio has been re-imagined enough to make space for really big canvases.

My paintings are feeling chatty, which I love. And, last night, my Sanctuary #wip actually offered to be sanctuary for my self-in-need-of-soothing.

Not dots, this time. (There are already lots of those!) Instead, roses! (The ones in the glimpse above.) It’s one of those whole brain kinds of things!

The red backgrounds were already in place. It was time for outlines and petals, even though this is not the way we Intentional Creativity® folks often do this sort of thing.

There’s something about following the spaces which are already there that I find relaxing. I think it’s because I don’t have to cope with everything at once. Just a specific space in a specific moment. And – at least in my case – no straight lines!!!

I shared the painting today, in a place where my sister-artists hang out. And I listened to them sharing their work. Ah-hahs and wonderings and what-ifs. All in a safe place.

Which often feels like a whole miracle in itself!

And the inspiration began to flow.

How to deal with the faces in my painting.

Hoots from a owl, longing to be included. And, flowers. Lilies and sunflowers. Because – well – duh!

Here’s the big picture at the moment…

Now, I’ll grant you… my painting journey isn’t going to solve all the problems of the world. (Not even all the problems of my personal world!)

It is helping me to access my soul resources. To remember to hope. To have more tools and perspectives to share with others on the journey.

Here’s an example:

Despite the seeming chaos around me, I was in a meeting today. The kind with sharing and actual listening. One of our leaders spoke of an article she’d read about safe green spaces being too rare in economically struggling urban areas.

A name popped instantly into my head. The name of a local county commissioner who gets it. This guy is all about creative changes like planting food crops on library lawns. And he has the platform to tell more people.

So, Havi tells a story. I hear it. I tell Ted. (Tomorrow!) Ted tells more people, some of whom make budget and policy decisions. And maybe – just maybe – we Atlanta folks have something to do that matters.

And, then, I tell you

Why???

It’s one of those each one, teach one things.

And, then, there’s my other answer…

I have 2 granddaughters growing up in this world!

One of them is turning 16 tomorrow. And, before too long, she’ll be able to vote!

So, here’s my question…

What’s YOUR Big Why?

Really! I want to know. Leave me a comment, below. Or email me. suesvoice@gmail.com

It’s going to take a whole lot of us… and I have ideas!

For now, though, my next right thing is more painting and pondering.

Nope! Make that painting and wondering!!!

ps… the each one, teach one thing is, according to the College of Education at the University of Arizona, an African proverb that became known in the USA during slavery when Africans were being denied education. When someone learned how to read or write, it became their responsibility to teach someone else… spreading knowledge for the benefit of community!

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Let Courage Be Our Teacher!

Some people like to talk about fearlessness – having no fear – but is that really possible? Courage is feeling fear but doing something anyway.

I read these words Sunday morning, in a Facebook post from Sara Jewell, quoting Morgan Harper Nichols, and passed on by Natalie Moyes.

It really hit home for me. Now. And I should probably warn you that this post is born of my speaking, despite the fear I feel. Despite the tears flowing down my cheeks. You know why… I have 2 granddaughters growing up in this world.

It’s been a hard week for this Grammy.

The irony of the news from Atlanta. The motorcade nearly stopping traffic during Thursday’s rush hour. Huge chucks of interstate roads not open to regular folks. The paradoxical arial shot of all those SUV’s rolling past the stadium at Dr. King’s alma mater, Morehouse College.

I can’t help but wonder at the timing. If you’re from around here – and even if you’re not – you probably know that this weekend marks the 60th anniversary of the March on Washington.

I was 5 years old, 60 years ago, back in the days before all our contemporary ways of accessing news, and I have no memory of these events. Possibly because – in addition to our limited tech options – this would have been one of those things WE didn’t talk about.

(In case you’re curious, money, sex, power, and politics were the other things on that list in my family!)

Monday is the actual 60th anniversary of Dr. King’s speech, I Have a Dream. Members of the King family are expected to join “tens of thousands” in the commemorative march on Monday. One of those members is likely to be Dr. King’s only granddaughter.

A 15 year old, Yolanda Renee King appeared on an MSNBC segment, Saturday, with her parents. I think it was her mother who said that, during her daughter’s lifetime, she has lost rights, rather than gaining them.

And she has. In America. On our watch.

This Saturday also marked Women’s Equality Day, and yes, I signed my name to some petitions. (You could, too!) It’s an election year in the USA and we must speak out for ratifying the ERA. Now! (Okay, I must…)

Then there was the shooting in Jacksonville, FL last night. Three black people killed by a white man with swastikas painted on the rifle he used. And a very young black man – Rep. Maxwell Frost (D, FL) – saying that, in this time, the most likely cause of death for children under the age of 18, in America, is a bullet.

The short version of what I’m feeling in this moment is:

This shit’s gotta stop!

The longer version is the hope that if we all summon our courage, even in the midst of our fear, to speak and act in love, we can make a difference. Maybe not huge, global differences in any given moment, but lots and lots of local differences which will add up to hope.

I’m starting by signing my whole name to this post…

The Rev Dr Susan L Boardman, Gnostic Judeo-Christian Mystic Medicine Woman, walking the Way of Love (aka: The Fiercely Compassionate Rebel Grandmother, For Rent!)

ps… one of the things I’ve learned lately is that the kinds of limiting beliefs which hold us back and keep us afraid often start with the emphatic WE… (Stay tuned!)

pps… the needs-to-be-finished-soon painting at the top is love and hope and courage, even in the midst of those who do not yet see the way. So be it, for each of us…

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I’m (usually) all for learning experiences…

Yesterday may have been an exception!

Physical Therapy was the first big thing on the list.

The construction guys trying to pick up their itty-bitty bulldozer, laying on its side in the road, were definitely NOT on the list.

Brief pause for thanks that the air conditioner in the car was on the job!

(Still waiting on the folks to juice up the one in the house!)

Then, dry needles. I was ready for the ones near my hip. The ones at the other end of that muscle, near my knee… not so much! (My knees are of the opinion that they’ve had PLENTY of attention, already!)

The next right thing was a video shoot, at my house.

Clearly, nobody had explained that to the 3 drivers screaming at each other in the road where their crumpled cars were considerably more well acquainted than one might hope. Blessedly, everybody seemed well enough to jump up & down and yell.

Finally home, I grabbed a quick snack and reminded myself that breathing would probably be helpful.

The way-deep into my back muscles sort of breathing. (It really does help!)

Then, the tears started.

There was no way I was ready to start making videos in 20 minutes.

That’s where modeling comes in. Not the high heels and big hair kind!

The kind where we actually pay attention to what we need and make choices informed by that knowledge. Translation… I phoned a friend!

Not just any friend. A retired news producer Intentional Creativity® friend who was on tap for helping with the videos.

Fast forward to the new plan, in which waiting for a more supportive time is very likely to get me a whole lot closer to where I’m going with the video project.

And, yes… we’re talking Filters videos! And me doing that old thing called walking the talk.

It doesn’t fix everything. Not wild fires or mud slides or floods. Not crazy excuses for politicians. Not intolerance or book burning or threats to Social Security.

It does make us more able to be part of the solutions. And I’m all in!

For now, though… more dots!

Finger dots can be prayer dots, too. And that is walking the talk!

ps… the art is a sneak peek at how my Legend 2023 painting is coming along… In this case, dots are rocks! (Stay tuned!!!)

pps… even though the Filters videos aren’t quite done yet, I have the magic, ready to share. Step One is 45 min. My gift. Then comes Step Two. Just tell the calendar elves you’re ready to get ahead of the crowd! (There are even a few options before Labor Day!)

New batteries for the magic wand!

Heresy alert!!!

I have come to the conclusion that the only thing scarier than change is NO change!

Yep… I know. That’s not the way many of us learned it.

And, just between us, this is a pretty big topic at our house.

Let’s just say that the Legendary Husband and I have differing notions of same and different!

He has strong same strategies for food. And seemingly random patterns of time. (Except for Saturday nights… and Dragon Con!)

My journey feels different. At least to me.

It’s kind of an internal/external dynamic.

When I’m processing internal stuff – often on a non-conscious level – my powers of avoiding change kick in. I just don’t have the energy for external newness.

Then, when an inner ah-hah comes, I often need external change to support my new perceptions and goals and visions.

And, if I were to come totally clean, I’m pretty sure we both consider each other as oddly random. (Which is an issue for another day!)

For today, it’s memory lane time. Specifically, Eckerd College in about 1986 for one of my favorite quotes of all time:

In order to learn we must be willing to be changed.

I hear you! It does feel scary at first glance.

And yes, if it were my voice in these days, my inner red ink persona might go with:

In order to learn we must make space for change to find us.

Let’s just say that I did and I am. Which seems to take lots less energy than resisting does!

And, yes… it takes practice!

Here’s my best tip…

Carrot is easier than stick!

And company helps!

Which reminds me of a scene from The West Wing.

I’ve been down the Change hole a lot! And I have a whole Medicine Basket full of ways to make it work!

It’s going to take a whole lot of us to squeeze hope out of the world in this moment. If you could use a Fiercely Compassionate Rebel Grandmother who’s been there before, let’s talk! 45 min. My gift. Just summon the calendar elves to find you some time!

And, just in case you’re feeling skeptical… the very writing of these words, in this moment, made space for the next steps on my path to appear!!! With apologies to the exclamation point conservation fairy, it’s really exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps… did you notice all those triangles on Grandmother Moon’s head? That’s our secret code for change!

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Sue Boardman, Certified Intentional Creativity®
Color of Woman Teacher & Coach