Yes! Grammar CAN be fun!!!

I have been thinking about two words, lately.

I am.

Specifically in the sense that I am 65 years old.

Frankly, in the list of things I’ve pondered putting on a business card, that never made the top – you know – zillion choices!

And, I am. Since Friday.

So far, so good!

Possibly, even better than that!

Grandmother Moon seems enthused, too. So much so that she’s been whispering even more loudly than usual.

The same two words. Over and over.

I am.

Which, given many of the places I’ve been hanging out for the last 35-ish years, brought some other things to mind.

I Am that I Am. (from the Hebrew)

And, because Hebrew is a rather complex language in which it’s hard to tell nouns from verbs and past tense from present or future…

I will be what I will be.

And, one which really calls to me…

I create what(ever) I create.

Now, to be clear, Hebrew was not my most outstanding academic adventure. And it’s just possible that Uncle Walter (Brueggemann) might be busy doing something else at the moment.

So, I looked these possible translations up online.

Here’s one of the big things I do remember from Hebrew… there’s a whole lot of interpreting going on!

And, since all we’re talking about here is my birthday card to myself, I’m going with…

I will become what I choose to become.

It feels really good! Hopeful… empowering… true.

Which isn’t bad, in the face of Tuesday’s physical therapy appointment!

I even have a birthday gift to help me keep laughing along the way…

And, yes… it’s from my kids, which makes it even better!

As for what I’m becoming/creating…

The warp thread for my new stick weaving project is due to arrive sometime tonight. (It’s late, but I’m adapting.)

The book chapter I’m writing has appeared, Sue-style, scribbled in a mixed media journal with circles and arrows and exclamation points. It wouldn’t mean much to you, yet, but in my creating world, it has become!

I’ve figured out what my favorite room for hatching needs in order to be the next step more me.

Cheap. Easy. And it doesn’t require ladders! (These are all good things!!!)

And, this evening, I spent about 45 minutes on the phone inviting a new friend into the magic world of filters and medicine baskets and hope.

When you get right down to it, that is the big part of what I am becoming.

Ways to go on when the more feels beaten out of you.

When creating feels like way more hope than you have.

When you’re not sure there’s enough left in you to matter anymore.

Here’s why – at least for me:

In partnership with the Divine, I create… and walk the Way of Love.

It has, admittedly, taken me a while to get here. And it feels like plenty to keep me busy.

It also feels like a pretty great birthday present. Along with the notes from my girls!

ps… on a healing path of your own? Looking for some new tools for your medicine basket? Let’s talk! By special agreement with the calendar elves, you can claim 45 minutes, as my gift. Just CLICK HERE!

pps… the painting is deep under-layers from my most recent Insight painting, in the “structure” part of the processing. This really is me! What is that kind of “real” for you??? Leave a comment below, or email me. Or negotiate with the elves for some time to chat! suesvoice@gmail.com

Best Laid Plans…

Or, Life is for Learning!

So, my right knee is, apparently, jealous of the snazzy brace the left one often gets to wear and decided throwing a fit might get it some attention. (It worked!)

This reminds me of a Facebook post from my Newf Rescue sister, Kitty Sanderson.

Imagine, capable reader, a hand, gently holding a white feather, as you read:

Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath every feeling there is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.

Thus, a big day with my physical therapist buddy yesterday!

My tech toys were, I suspect, experimenting with the same sort of behavior mod theories!

Email full of sky is falling messages like You’re almost out of space! And Update bank info! (Truly terrifying!!!)

Also, more routine questions for my personal tech wizard.

Thus… meeting!!! We got a whole lot done… blessed be!

We also discovered a few sub-optimal things!

First, a bit of perspective!

When I started Seminary, in 1987, my tech tool was the sort of snazzy electric typewriter that used the round gizmos in the photo!

Which leaves us with two things which are true:

I’ve come a looooonnnng way!

…and

I have a LOT more to learn!

You may have already noticed some of the outcome of my recent lesson!

It turns out that some of you who have joined my email list since the last time big changes were made in the land of email management might not have had the super-special, very sparkly, Welcome-tag attached to your name by the elves!

Thus, you may be getting welcome emails now, even though you’ve been part of the family for a while.

(I know this because I’m getting them, too!)

And, no, I don’t really understand it. I do know I’d much rather have you welcomed belatedly than, accidentally, not at all.

And, I know that some of them are a tiny bit out of date. Like the one I received today from Phoebe and Luther.

I totally promise, though, that Luther is just as glad you’re here, even from the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. In all the ways that matter, he’s still here, too!

I also promise that there are cool new things in the wings!

For this moment, before I dash off to a writers’ workshop and a virtual art show, I’m hoping you’ll consider this peek into Real Sue-ville a gift!

A gift in the sense of choices for your medicine basket.

It goes a bit like this…

If you, perhaps, have been feeling afraid, or reluctant, or even not worthy, to set some of your dreams and gifts loose in the world…

If, under that feeling, there lurks a need… perhaps for a Guide or for an Inner Grandmother or even just to know you’re not alone

You’re in the right place!

And, yes, there’s more to come!!!

For this moment, be gentle with you.

Add a new piece of Red Thread to your wrist, if you’re so inclined. And remind yourself that we are all connected and we’re only responsible for our piece of the thread! (Not everybody else’s!!!)

Then, if you want to chat about some of what you’re hoping – or about unsticking some of what feels stuck – just ask the calendar elves to set you up with some time. 45 min. My gift! (And, yes… as far as I can tell, they are – in fact – doing what they’re supposed to be doing!)

ps… how about art leggings??? I “made” some! And I just wore mine for the first time. They’re great!!! Lots of sizes. And they wash well. Check it out… more designs to come!

An unseasonal visit to summer camp!

By now, many of you know I grew up as a camp counselor.

Wow, am I having flashbacks!

And, yes… Kumbaya is playing in the background…

In addition to having my first Red-Thread-Circle-by-another-name at camp, and being in charge of remembering all the words to all the songs from one year to the next, one of my bigger counselor tasks was teaching the rocks to swim!

The rocks, as you’ve no doubt guessed, were the kids who were utterly convinced that they could not swim. Period.

We’ll leave for another time the many ways they might have come to that conclusion…

When you run a camp on a river or near Florida springs, though, there’s a safety thing involved. The directive from the director was that everyone must be able to float or tread water.

This was a long time ago, and a rustic, woodsy sort of crowd, and we just didn’t have campers who might have been actually unable to swim. Jean, I’m sure, would have found another perspective if we had.

Anyway… Sue and the rocks. It was a really good match!

Back then, I knew nothing (consciously) about limiting beliefs and filters. And, I wasn’t quite far enough along in my adventure with abstract thought to sort the trauma reaction possibilities.

So, while it seems much more complex to me now than it did in the mid 1970’s, I taught them to float, tread water, and swim. Every one!

I’m not exactly sure how we pulled it off.

What I do remember is that it took working with each girl as an individual.

Transmitting, if you will, the magic to each of these unique young women in a way that they could receive it.

And, it worked!

And I cried my eyes out handing them their awards at the closing fire circle each session. (It’s fine if you’re not surprised by that!)

So, why this story, now???

Well, probably because I’m feeling a bit like a rock in this moment!

It has to do with tech challenges. A thing I need to grasp in order to do a year’s worth of supporting others in a way I feel utterly called to do.

And, I’ve learned 3 or 4 things which aren’t the answer, which – at least – narrows things down a bit.

Or, that’s what I’m telling myself!

That and 87 choruses of, If the rocks could learn to swim, surely I can do this!

You, dear heart, may reasonably be wondering why this story, in this moment…

Two reasons!

The thing I’m getting ready for is quite a lot like camp was for me.

New people. New context. New learning. And a good dose of ritual and sacred space.

That’s a big part of why this story.

The other part is the thing called modeling.

You know… the Steve Glenn version I cling to in which letting others glimpse our own paths of learning – even the hard parts – often makes the learning they long for seem a bit more possible!

Even when it can feel scary!!!

So, I’m heading back to sorting the new stuff.

To a bit of Temple Keeping and all the tech-y stuff that (ironically!) goes with it.

And, to a few precious drops of Bay Laurel oil. For victory.

Not over. But, for!

ps… the art wants you to know that this is deep, deep underlayers which no longer exist in this dimension except by the name, Processing Hope. Let the calendar elves know if you’d like to chat about what that looks like in your world! 45 min. My gift. And some new options…

pps… the shop-keeping elves have been distracted lately, which means there are LOTS of things still at holiday prices! Now would be a really great time to check out FierceArtWithHeart!!!

What might we see if we open our eyes?

Truth!

After a brief trip down the hall, early this morning, I tucked my creaky-achey self back in the bed, longing for a bit more comfort after yesterday’s adventure with the physical therapist.

Oddly, I found more than I hoped!

(In order to follow along, you need to know that I am nearsighted. At least I used to be. Now I’m some deeply inconvenient combination of near/far/in-between sighted. And, I need to have my eyes checked! This does not help my cranky neck!)

Anyway… I curled under the weighted blanket, glasses still beside me on the nightstand, and wound up facing the front window.

Grey. Chilly-looking. Quiet. I snuggled a bit deeper and closed my eyes.

And opened them, again.

And, again… close – open… (You know how it goes!)

By the third or fourth time I saw her!

The face in the trees! Head tipped to one side. Looking a great deal like one of Shiloh Sophia’s how-to-draw-a-face demos!

And my language center kicked in!

How long has she been there?

Why have I never seen her before?

What is she saying?

You know I like questions!

And so I listened while I watched.

At one point, I reached for my phone and took the photo so I wouldn’t forget. (As if!!!)

I considered putting my glasses on, but I wouldn’t have been able to lay, watching, at the same angle.

And, then, I heard her!

And the tears rolled down my cheeks and into my pillow as she whispered:

I’ve been here all along. You only need to look!

That got me out of bed!

Heat flipped on. Tea made. Nearest black pen in hand.

And, yep! Tissues.

And Filters! (Especially the ones about beliefs and learning new things!)

Who is she? The Divine? Me?? Ancestors???

(It’s a good thing I’ve been editing my Map of Reality, lately!)

Why does this feel familiar? Ahhh! Ten year old me. Leaving the eye doctor’s office with my first pair of glasses. Able to see – for the first time – individual leaves on trees!

What does she want? What I need… perspective!!!

Or, to put it another way… What matters in my soul!!!

The next question feels a bit more challenging… How will I do that???

The answer to that one is an old answer. One that’s not original to me.

One day at a time!

For today that means Phoebe’s eye medicine. A bunch of meetings of the starting-new-things variety. These words, for you!

Along with a smidge of my fabulous batch of bone broth for lunch, complete with bay laurel leaves, for victory. And, a few drops of Courage oil for – you know – showing up!

ps… do you suspect you have some more showing up to do? Are there things you’re only beginning to give yourself permission to want? I can help! Spend a few minutes jotting down your thoughts, then allow the calendar elves to find us some time to talk. My gift to you!

pps… we’ve got this!

What does a Dangerous Old Woman do on Super Bowl Weekend???

I would imagine there are lots of answers to that question.

Nearly as many, perhaps, as there are people who claim the honorary Dangerous Old Woman label!

Being even more football avoidant these days than usual, here’s some of my list… With surprises at the end!

First, another lap and a half around my new indoor workout space, Kudzu, which doubles as a huge store filled with assorted vintage goodies, art, old windows, and the occasional dog learning to meet new people.

Use your imagination! I’ll take pics next time.

I planned for two whole laps but someone showed up with a big batch of furniture and the traffic got challenging. I’m still claiming the win! Browsing helps distract from – you know – exercising!

Then… bones to boil! The dear person known as my Fav Niece is having surgery shortly and that will mean a few weeks of liquid nourishment.

Blessedly, the freezer is well stocked at the moment. It will be sometime late Monday before the magic is all made. Fortunately, the mythical cauldron is up for the adventure.

Phoebe is camped out in the kitchen, nose twitching like a rabbit, praying that somebody drops something.

Fortunately, other things can go on while the broth simmers.

A video recorded with lots of hopes in mind. The whole converting/editing/posting bit is someone else’s department! I drew pictures and talked! (Natalie and Daphne helped!)

Not bad for a recovering camera-phobe!

Then, meatloaf!

I’ve adapted the way we’ve always done it version I learned from Mom to skip the carbs for the Legendary Husband. I even hide some veggies in there…

It works!!! Our local farmer buddies are a huge help!

Eight cute little loaves stashed in the freezer and one headed for the oven, momentarily.

Then, lest we bored, it seems Grandmother Moon decided the video could use a wee bit of editing. And, she was right! I learned something new, explaining a thing I’ve done dozens of times!

Grandmother Moon is generally right…

So, take two. Prayers for the cloud appreciated.

There’s painting to do, of course. And steps in the direction of further out-from-under-the-rock beginnings. I’d like to share two of those with you and your Muse! There’s not much time, though!!!

First, an invitation from my friend, Astara Jane Ashley, of Flower of Life Press. Just click HERE to read about having your writing included in an upcoming anthology project. I’m so excited to be involved! Here’s the thing, though… if you even suspect you could be interested, check it out NOW. The doors close Monday evening!

Then, it’s Red Madonna time again! A year long journey in the Intentional Creativity® tradition. Painting. Writing. Being in the Red Tent with creative, supportive sisters. Shiloh Sophia McCloud and Havi Brysk Mandell will be leading the way and I’m thrilled to be part of the team, calling women just like you, just like I learned from Dr. E, to the fireside of the dangerous old woman! (And you don’t need previous painting or Intentional Creativity® experience to join us!) Click here to learn all about it.

Seriously, what would it hurt to explore???

And, now… For you from me! A trophy, perhaps. For all of us who are showing up for the real Super Bowl… called life! Just click here..

pps… stuff bubbling inside??? Dreams to claim? Paths to plan? Let’s talk! Just ask the calendar elves to hook you up with 45 minutes, as my gift!

The family biz…

When I was in the 4th grade, Mrs. Ray – one of my very favorite teachers – asked us all what businesses our families were in.

I knew the answer.

(I liked knowing the answers!)

My dad was in sales. And moving!

My mother’s family were in businesses ranging from car repair to railroads to meat processing.

My father’s family were farmers.

Now I know more! Literally thousands of years worth of more. And, as you might imagine, the list is long.

So, as I’m the one telling this story, I get to decide which bits matter most in this moment.

From farmers to kings and queens… from teachers and preachers and soldiers… from moms and aunts and grammies without number… they persevered.

Many of them against huge odds.

Many of them standing up for the voices of women and girls. For the choices of women and girls.

Some of them in times when arranged marriages and witch hangings were far too popular.

I’ve been busy learning their stories.

And trying to figure out how to live the best parts of their legacy in this world, now.

I spent a good bit of my energy on Tuesday in circle with women asking similar questions which pretty much boiled down to how we feel called to matter in this moment.

It’s not easy.

Many of us learned that it didn’t even feel safe to try.

And many of us have noticed that believing we can’t make a difference is not working.

So, let’s experiment with believing that we can!

Let’s start right where we are. In the ways we know best.

For me, that means hope.

Rescue a pet. Share tools of self-discovery and expression. Be a Scout leader. Plant pollinator friendly gardens. Listen to children. Take them seriously.

Commit to human rights. All the rights. For all the people.

Find the place where you can be you.

And put something somewhere in your space that will remind you – in the hard moments – of what you intend at your very best.

Even if it’s just a plain old index card with your secret reminder scrawled on it. I have a zillion of those!

And…

It’s not easy. And it matters.

Which seems, when I get right down to it, like that might just be the family business!

At least that’s the way I’m choosing – eyes wide open – to tell the story!

What story will you live? And tell???

I really want to know!

You can leave a comment, below, or email me at suesvoice@gmail.com

ps… ready for more? Or ready to be ready??? Let’s chat! 45 min. as my gift! Sneak peek at what’s coming, and what’s already possible!

pps… the lovely beings at the top are my Legend paintings, numbers 1, 2, and 4. They’re all bravely lined up and ready to be in an upcoming Musea® online show. Stay tuned!

And… the FEAR sets in!

Which, oddly, is a good thing!!!

As I mentioned the last time we were together, I did a thing.

A thing I very much wanted to do.

A thing which, having done it, is terrifying on so many levels…

And, yes, we’re talking about the thing with passport numbers and plastic money.

Ironically, I’m not at all surprised to have fear show up! It happens a lot when we give ourselves permission to want what we want, even though – on several levels – wanting whatever it is may not seem to make much sense.

Which means – drum roll, please – it’s Medicine Basket time!

In order to follow along, you’re going to need a few details…

I, of the 6 knee surgeries in 9 years, am going to France this summer! The boonies, if you will, of France. The part where they like their centuries-old buildings the way they were built! The part you can’t get a direct flight to from the ATL!

And, ironically, that’s the – mentally – easy part!

Then there’s the I don’t speak the language part! (And a memory of the airport in Paris – the big, old, strung all over the place one – that has taken up residence in the box in my brain labeled Nope! Not again!)

Oh, and the minor bit about learning things which are, at the very least, not the way we’ve always done them.

And, yet, I am intending this trip with all my heart.

How???

Well, with filters and metaphors and a text message to my youngest granddaughter!

You see, she has a thing on her phone which she said, while we were together for Thanksgiving, was helping her learn French. And this young woman loves to explain things! So, clearly, Grammy needs a thing-on-my-phone lesson!

Then, a bit of good old-fashioned red ink for the filter which insists that anything this scary is utterly unsafe. It now reads:

Fear is sometimes just a signal that it’s time to learn new things.

With a bit of button pushing, I’ve already discovered that there’s at least one way to get where I want to be without the scary airport in Paris!

Then, a good sorting of my metaphorical Medicine Basket. (The actual one is full of stick weaving at the moment!)

What goes in is a bottle of courage oil. A few old-fashioned medals for Saints. Ancestors, oddly. Seriously brave women. Then, the really cool red boots in the photo, which help sort both the mobility concern and a few others about who we are and how many of us have actually always done it!

Winner-winner-sushi dinner! as you’ve no doubt guessed! (Chicken being a non-starter with Tay at the table!)

There’s more, of course. Including a clever intention for an indoor walk on this cold, cloudy day!

For now, though, a question… for you!

What’s holding YOU back from your dreams???

Now, the spoiler alert. There’s a new quiz coming, and some cool videos full of goodies for your medicine basket. At the moment they exist metaphorically.

AND inside me… which means I can share them with you now! The low-tech way!

So, if this adventure saga makes your heart beat a bit faster… if it blows the dust off any of your dreams, let’s talk. My gift to you. And, some options which already exist for next steps. For tools for your medicine basket! We’ve got this! Hurry, though… the calendar elves are starting to feel swamped!

ps… nope! It’s not your imagination! The very cool red leather boots go really well with socks covered in prayer dots!

pps… look fabulously unique, stay warm, and help send an artist to France! There’s a special sale going on at FierceArtWithHeart !

Sue Boardman, Certified Intentional Creativity®
Color of Woman Teacher & Coach