My Favorite Word!

Okay… technically the one I’ll get to in a minute is tied with Grammy for my favorite word. And that, right there, lets you know it’s a really big deal!

It’s a Hebrew word which, transliterated into English, would sound like tzcar. It means remember. It also means to remind!

And, yes… it’s no doubt near the top of my consciousness because the time from sunset Monday to sunset Tuesday, this week, was Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Now, as you probably know, I like learning new things!

One of the things I’ve learned, just in the last few months, is that my 70th and 71st great grandfathers were a couple of Jewish guys named Hezekiah, who had some other complicated stuff in their names which seems to connect them to the House of David. (And, yes, the time was right. We’re talking dates commonly referred to as BCE.)

Then there’s the fact that my granddaughters have Jewish ancestors… considerably more recent than the Hezekiahs.

Now, when I mixed all of that into the simmering soup pot known as CNN, yesterday, I wound up with a whole lot of noticing and wondering bubbles!

You, of course, may be noticing and wondering other things. These are just mine…

There’s a whole lot of what’s mine is mine going on in this world. And a big batch of what’s yours is mine, too.

The power over team is getting a whole lot more air time than the power for folks.

The whole familiar = safe and different = danger bit is spreading like – well – a pandemic.

To be honest, I kept trying to turn it all off. I cried. I swore. I signed petitions.

And then, the ah-hah!

You see, I’d spent the morning at Physical Therapy, getting – if you’ll pardon the image – a whole lot of dry needles stuck in my hip.

Not fun. Not remotely comfortable. But, important, because I have things I want and that means doing some things differently along the way.

And, seasoning the pot, if you will, an old favorite quote from the Quaker tradition:

In order to learn, we must be willing to be changed!

I’m starting here: ALL the people are OUR people!!!

At least, in theory! In practice, it probably looks a whole lot like ALL the people who want to be OUR people, already are. Or, WE the people… if you prefer. Not race or nationality. Humanity!

Which isn’t too far from, Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Mt 11:28).

As far as I can tell, there have always been some folks who don’t want the world to be us… they want it to be us and them.

I get it! The vast majority of us grew up with the notion that we’re still here so the way we’ve always done it has to be the only way.

Karl Jung has a good explanation for the theory. It’s the practice that’s not working so well these days!

Which kind of implies that we’ve got to start right where we are!

Where I was, about 6:00 this morning, was curled in the bed, trying to sleep while Grandmother Moon was hanging on the wall, channeling C.J. Cregg!

Yep! The West Wing!

Season 2, episode 9. Galileo.

NASA looses contact with the landing craft mission to Mars. The President needs to talk to thousands of school kids.

Press Secretary, C.J. Cregg is all for going ahead with the televised classroom plan, even though they don’t know what happened to Galileo. Her reason went a lot like this…

A lot of those kids are afraid to raise their hands or go to the blackboard because they might not get it right. Let’s show them how the big kids do it. Let’s tell them we’re going to keep trying…

I’m with C.J. And I’ll go one step farther. What if it is our job to go to the blackboard, when it matters. Even when we’re not sure how it will all turn out?

What if our job, in this life, is to claim what’s in our medicine baskets and raise our hands… for my girls, growing up in this world, and for all the people who come with and after them???

ps… the painting is In the Beginning. The word in the limb of the tree of life is – you guessed it! – tzcar. To remember and remind!

pps… got a hand to raise? Need some help along the path? Let’s talk! The calendar elves will hook you up… 45 min. My gift. (Yep… me raising my hand!)

He is Risen!

Wait, please!

You know how – once you see something new – you can’t not see it in the future? Well, today is about that, in ways which may be new for you, too!

You see, our title phrase, for much of my life, has meant exactly that, on this day.

Easter. Jesus rose from the dead. Hallelujah!

And, yes, I know the stories. And all the words to the hymns. They matter, in so many ways.

Our traditions matter, too.

There are also other stories which matter. Ones I knew less well. Perhaps you knew them less well, too.

But, first… yesterday! I was doing what we preacher types have done on the Saturday before Easter for ages and ages. Makin’ the list and checkin’ it twice.

Weather. Food. Music. Flowers. And a story. Preferably a really catchy one. (There might be visitors!) Things, however, are a little different in my world, these days.

Gratitude for a new roof in the pouring rain… check!

Roses blooming/dripping in the garden… check! (And the merest hint of hydrangea blooms on the way… check!)

Local, sustainably raised chicken in the fridge, preparing to be roasted… check!

The need for a blog post… check! (Blog posts are stories, too!)

All of which led to a hike down memory lane. And that led to wandering through pictures in my phone.

I found the ones which were whispering to me in the 2018 part of the files. The girls were here for Easter. Baskets. Colored eggs. The not-quite-traditional-but-big-fun trip to the aquarium! Dearer memories, still, because they’ve been in Portugal for the last week!

For a few moments, I was going to share them all with you. And then I remembered that the focal points of those visual memories have reached their teen years (!) and like to have photo approval for publication!!!

I did find one I can share with a clean conscience! The one at the top.

It’s very early layers of my very first Muse painting and, it feels Easter-y to me in a way I never noticed before!

Probably because the context is different in these days!

I’m incredibly aware of the confluence of Holy Week and Passover and Ramadan this week. Of all the stories and traditions people dear to me are remembering.

And, I’m more aware than ever before, of the people who were somehow erased from the old stories I learned. Many of them women. And women’s voices. And now I do, indeed, know more!

So, yes… in my heart, He is Risen! means more. More than a sentimental lesson in historical vested interest. More than a way to decide who’s in and who’s out.

Here’s the best of my understanding…

Jesus of Nazareth – Yeshua – was crucified, dead, and buried. On the third day, he rose again. And he lives on – not on a cloud with pink cheeks and a shiny halo – but in the hearts of all who welcome him.

Caution… we’re about to go off script!

I believe he lives on in us so that we can learn more and love better and include more truth in our journeys. And I believe that now is a very good time for a whole lot of that.

One of the ways I’m still learning is through the practice of following a paint brush in my hand, the way the Muse taught me. (It helps a whole lot with the noticing and wondering, which helps even more with eyes to see and ears to hear new truth!)

Which is, I suspect, a very Easter-ish sort of thing!

There’s also Daphne, who was just fine with having her picture included in this story on this day!

It’s not my only prayer for the world. It is a pretty good start!

And one which I believe, with all my heart, is heard by all that I hold Holy.

So, Hallelujah! And, so be it. For all of us who hold love to be Holy, whatever our stories and traditions.

May we have ears to hear!

And breath to tell the stories!

ps… and, paint, too!

pps.. the kids did, indeed, make it home safely!

a, b, c, d, e, f, g…

Just between us, I’m dog paddling pretty fast in a sea of alphabet soup right now.

A deeper sea than usual!

And, yes, I’m painting, too.

And the paintings have a whole lot to say!

In the land of Intentional Creativity® we have an interesting custom known as handing the pen to the painting!

Laugh, if you must… it works!

At the risk of spoiling the mystery, it works by accessing different parts of our consciousness by doing something which feels a lot like playing and is actually magic!

And, today, we have a volunteer! (Well, actually, she insisted!!!)

I am not who I was supposed to be. At least not according to the path laid out for me.

My journey began with the Red Madonna in The Forest of Grandmothers. I had a whole 48″ square canvas! There was lots of drumming. I was excited!

Back then, I looked like the photo way up at the top of the this page. Dots and handprints! Two of my favorite things! (All that pink was a bit of a surprise!)

About then, things got different. Sue had one of those things she calls a hypermobility flare which seems to mean that she hurts a lot and everything gets harder.

After I sat in the studio corner for a while, we decided I could be just as much me on a 24″ square canvas and it would be easier to have fun. It was!

We wrote a whole lot more than we painted in those days. Crone Moon posts, which had a lot to do with being Grandmothers in this world. And we wrote a Manifesta, which means saying what we really think, out loud.

Now I feel more deeply rooted in our lineage than ever before. In those who came before us and those who are coming after.

Which, since I get to tell the truth (!) is feeling more complicated by the day. Around here, we have 2 granddaughters growing up in this world, but all those other Littles are somebody’s too, and they need to matter, too — even to people who think they’re more important than everybody else because they get to make the laws!

I think that’s why there’s a lot of circle calling going on around here. I get to help with my drum!

And we’ve started a new Red Madonna painting called Sanctuary. It’s one of those Medicine Painting things!!! I’m sure there will be lots more to learn. For now, though, I really want to remind you about the Manifesta. It seems like a really good moment to claim these things again! Sue agrees!!!

Here’s your link for the Manifesta!

Whatever else is going on in your world… whether you’re a grandmother or not… it’s a pretty good place to begin!

ps… intrigued by Sanctuary??? You can still sign up — even if you’ve never painted before! And, really, how will you know if you don’t check it out? So, deep breath! And click to learn more. It just might be exactly what you’re longing for in this world, now.

pps… you can get a really snazzy copy of the Manifesta, perfect for framing, if it’s calling to you… just click here! It would be a great gift! Or even an Intention!!! Oh! wander a bit while you’re there! There are leggings like I used to look!!!

What do you see?

Really! I’m curious…

Some of you will see colors. Probably red and blue, with hints of pink and yellow and purple. Even a spot or two of orange.

Perhaps the feng shui book you read years ago is making suggestions! Things like exciting, uplifting, wisdom, spirituality…

Perhaps you see prayer dots. (Me, too!)

Possibly stars.

Many of you will see Intentional Creativity®. And, some of you will suspect you see the beginning of my Red Madonna Sanctuary painting.

All of those things are true.

And, as is so often the case… other things are true, as well!

On Sunday I began this Sanctuary medicine painting. The beginning marks on the first canvas of a year-long journey to places utterly unknown as I begin.

It looked like this:

On Monday, seven people lost their lives in a school shooting in Nashville, Tennessee.

Since then, I have been alternating between staring in disbelief at the news and avoiding it all together.

I cried. I swore. I prayed. I signed petitions online. I cried. I swore. I prayed. I texted my granddaughters, not so much older than the three 9-year olds who did not get home from school two days ago.

I also edited a couple of book chapters, went to some meetings, watched Stephen Colbert, and took care of me.

And, while all those things were going on, I listened.

And then it came.

Stars. The big dipper. And the North Star.

The one that helps us know where we are and how to get where we’re going.

And with the North Star came the big question.

What is my North Star? What do I use to navigate my journey?

I have an answer. Actually, I have several! And they all come together in a place you’ve probably guessed if you’ve been reading along for a while.

I have 2 granddaughters growing up in this world!

That is the reality which holds all the other answers together for me.

The reality which gets me out of bed on the hard days.

The reality which compels me to vote. And write. And plant my garden with signs which lean heavily toward inclusion and human rights.

I also have faith. In my version of the Divine… of the Creator who dwells, still, in and among us. Between us, even, in the spaces where our versions of the Divine may be different.

And I have faith that, while lots of days will still suck, walking the path where my faith leads beats the hell out of not walking it.

What is your North Star?

And what helps you follow it?

If you’d like some ideas, some company on your path, I can help! Just ask the calendar elves to find you some time!

For now, I have more dots to make. Dots for humanity. And sanity!

And Sanctuary.

Yes! Grammar CAN be fun!!!

I have been thinking about two words, lately.

I am.

Specifically in the sense that I am 65 years old.

Frankly, in the list of things I’ve pondered putting on a business card, that never made the top – you know – zillion choices!

And, I am. Since Friday.

So far, so good!

Possibly, even better than that!

Grandmother Moon seems enthused, too. So much so that she’s been whispering even more loudly than usual.

The same two words. Over and over.

I am.

Which, given many of the places I’ve been hanging out for the last 35-ish years, brought some other things to mind.

I Am that I Am. (from the Hebrew)

And, because Hebrew is a rather complex language in which it’s hard to tell nouns from verbs and past tense from present or future…

I will be what I will be.

And, one which really calls to me…

I create what(ever) I create.

Now, to be clear, Hebrew was not my most outstanding academic adventure. And it’s just possible that Uncle Walter (Brueggemann) might be busy doing something else at the moment.

So, I looked these possible translations up online.

Here’s one of the big things I do remember from Hebrew… there’s a whole lot of interpreting going on!

And, since all we’re talking about here is my birthday card to myself, I’m going with…

I will become what I choose to become.

It feels really good! Hopeful… empowering… true.

Which isn’t bad, in the face of Tuesday’s physical therapy appointment!

I even have a birthday gift to help me keep laughing along the way…

And, yes… it’s from my kids, which makes it even better!

As for what I’m becoming/creating…

The warp thread for my new stick weaving project is due to arrive sometime tonight. (It’s late, but I’m adapting.)

The book chapter I’m writing has appeared, Sue-style, scribbled in a mixed media journal with circles and arrows and exclamation points. It wouldn’t mean much to you, yet, but in my creating world, it has become!

I’ve figured out what my favorite room for hatching needs in order to be the next step more me.

Cheap. Easy. And it doesn’t require ladders! (These are all good things!!!)

And, this evening, I spent about 45 minutes on the phone inviting a new friend into the magic world of filters and medicine baskets and hope.

When you get right down to it, that is the big part of what I am becoming.

Ways to go on when the more feels beaten out of you.

When creating feels like way more hope than you have.

When you’re not sure there’s enough left in you to matter anymore.

Here’s why – at least for me:

In partnership with the Divine, I create… and walk the Way of Love.

It has, admittedly, taken me a while to get here. And it feels like plenty to keep me busy.

It also feels like a pretty great birthday present. Along with the notes from my girls!

ps… on a healing path of your own? Looking for some new tools for your medicine basket? Let’s talk! By special agreement with the calendar elves, you can claim 45 minutes, as my gift. Just CLICK HERE!

pps… the painting is deep under-layers from my most recent Insight painting, in the “structure” part of the processing. This really is me! What is that kind of “real” for you??? Leave a comment below, or email me. Or negotiate with the elves for some time to chat! suesvoice@gmail.com

Best Laid Plans…

Or, Life is for Learning!

So, my right knee is, apparently, jealous of the snazzy brace the left one often gets to wear and decided throwing a fit might get it some attention. (It worked!)

This reminds me of a Facebook post from my Newf Rescue sister, Kitty Sanderson.

Imagine, capable reader, a hand, gently holding a white feather, as you read:

Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath every feeling there is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.

Thus, a big day with my physical therapist buddy yesterday!

My tech toys were, I suspect, experimenting with the same sort of behavior mod theories!

Email full of sky is falling messages like You’re almost out of space! And Update bank info! (Truly terrifying!!!)

Also, more routine questions for my personal tech wizard.

Thus… meeting!!! We got a whole lot done… blessed be!

We also discovered a few sub-optimal things!

First, a bit of perspective!

When I started Seminary, in 1987, my tech tool was the sort of snazzy electric typewriter that used the round gizmos in the photo!

Which leaves us with two things which are true:

I’ve come a looooonnnng way!

…and

I have a LOT more to learn!

You may have already noticed some of the outcome of my recent lesson!

It turns out that some of you who have joined my email list since the last time big changes were made in the land of email management might not have had the super-special, very sparkly, Welcome-tag attached to your name by the elves!

Thus, you may be getting welcome emails now, even though you’ve been part of the family for a while.

(I know this because I’m getting them, too!)

And, no, I don’t really understand it. I do know I’d much rather have you welcomed belatedly than, accidentally, not at all.

And, I know that some of them are a tiny bit out of date. Like the one I received today from Phoebe and Luther.

I totally promise, though, that Luther is just as glad you’re here, even from the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. In all the ways that matter, he’s still here, too!

I also promise that there are cool new things in the wings!

For this moment, before I dash off to a writers’ workshop and a virtual art show, I’m hoping you’ll consider this peek into Real Sue-ville a gift!

A gift in the sense of choices for your medicine basket.

It goes a bit like this…

If you, perhaps, have been feeling afraid, or reluctant, or even not worthy, to set some of your dreams and gifts loose in the world…

If, under that feeling, there lurks a need… perhaps for a Guide or for an Inner Grandmother or even just to know you’re not alone

You’re in the right place!

And, yes, there’s more to come!!!

For this moment, be gentle with you.

Add a new piece of Red Thread to your wrist, if you’re so inclined. And remind yourself that we are all connected and we’re only responsible for our piece of the thread! (Not everybody else’s!!!)

Then, if you want to chat about some of what you’re hoping – or about unsticking some of what feels stuck – just ask the calendar elves to set you up with some time. 45 min. My gift! (And, yes… as far as I can tell, they are – in fact – doing what they’re supposed to be doing!)

ps… how about art leggings??? I “made” some! And I just wore mine for the first time. They’re great!!! Lots of sizes. And they wash well. Check it out… more designs to come!

An unseasonal visit to summer camp!

By now, many of you know I grew up as a camp counselor.

Wow, am I having flashbacks!

And, yes… Kumbaya is playing in the background…

In addition to having my first Red-Thread-Circle-by-another-name at camp, and being in charge of remembering all the words to all the songs from one year to the next, one of my bigger counselor tasks was teaching the rocks to swim!

The rocks, as you’ve no doubt guessed, were the kids who were utterly convinced that they could not swim. Period.

We’ll leave for another time the many ways they might have come to that conclusion…

When you run a camp on a river or near Florida springs, though, there’s a safety thing involved. The directive from the director was that everyone must be able to float or tread water.

This was a long time ago, and a rustic, woodsy sort of crowd, and we just didn’t have campers who might have been actually unable to swim. Jean, I’m sure, would have found another perspective if we had.

Anyway… Sue and the rocks. It was a really good match!

Back then, I knew nothing (consciously) about limiting beliefs and filters. And, I wasn’t quite far enough along in my adventure with abstract thought to sort the trauma reaction possibilities.

So, while it seems much more complex to me now than it did in the mid 1970’s, I taught them to float, tread water, and swim. Every one!

I’m not exactly sure how we pulled it off.

What I do remember is that it took working with each girl as an individual.

Transmitting, if you will, the magic to each of these unique young women in a way that they could receive it.

And, it worked!

And I cried my eyes out handing them their awards at the closing fire circle each session. (It’s fine if you’re not surprised by that!)

So, why this story, now???

Well, probably because I’m feeling a bit like a rock in this moment!

It has to do with tech challenges. A thing I need to grasp in order to do a year’s worth of supporting others in a way I feel utterly called to do.

And, I’ve learned 3 or 4 things which aren’t the answer, which – at least – narrows things down a bit.

Or, that’s what I’m telling myself!

That and 87 choruses of, If the rocks could learn to swim, surely I can do this!

You, dear heart, may reasonably be wondering why this story, in this moment…

Two reasons!

The thing I’m getting ready for is quite a lot like camp was for me.

New people. New context. New learning. And a good dose of ritual and sacred space.

That’s a big part of why this story.

The other part is the thing called modeling.

You know… the Steve Glenn version I cling to in which letting others glimpse our own paths of learning – even the hard parts – often makes the learning they long for seem a bit more possible!

Even when it can feel scary!!!

So, I’m heading back to sorting the new stuff.

To a bit of Temple Keeping and all the tech-y stuff that (ironically!) goes with it.

And, to a few precious drops of Bay Laurel oil. For victory.

Not over. But, for!

ps… the art wants you to know that this is deep, deep underlayers which no longer exist in this dimension except by the name, Processing Hope. Let the calendar elves know if you’d like to chat about what that looks like in your world! 45 min. My gift. And some new options…

pps… the shop-keeping elves have been distracted lately, which means there are LOTS of things still at holiday prices! Now would be a really great time to check out FierceArtWithHeart!!!

Sue Boardman, Certified Intentional Creativity®
Color of Woman Teacher & Coach