Be-ing Have

You know how most kids have funny things they say that aren’t anywhere near standard English but the family all gets it?

Dave had quite a few.

I had seizures when I was in labor with him.

We were blessed that a few vision and language challenges were the major things we had to deal with.

He wrote and read backwards for quite a while.

He also said things backwards. Some of my favorites were shake milkfix car, and cut hay which was Dave for hair salon.

The best of all, though, was I be’d have!

This was his way of assuring me that he had, in fact, behaved at school or Grammie’s or wherever.

We’ll save for later the possibility that I may have overused my go-to question in these moments!

I was laughing about these memories on Friday.

Our herd of Newfie rescues aren’t too good at staying home alone. It’s complicated and there are lots of reasons for it and challenges in changing it but the short version is that since Luther got here about 15 months ago, I’ve stayed home a lot.

The last time Bill and I went crazy and went out to lunch on a lovely weekend day, we arrived home to find that the four-footed kids had eaten the pantry. Literally.

Someone (Sarah!!!) had swiped half a dozen chia seed muffins off the top of a big stainless steel rack in our kitchen that came out of a restaurant.

I’m 5 feet 8 inches tall and we’re talking eye level.

It was kind of her to share which meant that everybody got really sick.

I had to use a paint scraper to get the slimed kale and kelp powder off the floor.

It was not a happy day.

Lately, we’ve taken to carry out wings from our friends at The Corner Pub.

On Friday, though, a friend of mine was in desperate need of a soup delivery. I’ll spare you the details. Let’s just say half a gallon of turkey broth was in order.

After the dogs had eaten and were pretty much napped out, I snuck out the back door with my immune boosting magic and headed about six blocks down the road.

Hugs and drop-off complete, I hurried home, a bit anxious about what I would find.

They be’d have!

All was well with the full belly crowd and no paint scrapers were required.

I was hugely relieved.

I’ve also been pondering the notion of being have.

Specifically, I’ve been pondering those times when we behave according to possibly antiquated rules, instead of standing or speaking up when we need to.

Here’s an example.

Do you remember there being things we didn’t talk about in polite company?

Money, politics, religion, sex…

It reminds me of a particular Sunday in church when, according to the various calendars we live by, it was “the” Sunday for breast cancer, domestic violence, and stewardship.

I felt like there wasn’t anything I could say that would count for being have.

And yet, we need to talk about these things.

We need real, effective cures for breast cancer, and a great many other things, that are more about support for patients than profits for drug companies.

We need enforced laws for domestic violence and sex trafficking, and a realization that love is love.

We need accessible and accurate voting and the end to big money profit politics.

We need lots of things, but I’ll pause here for you to fill in a few from your list, too.

I know.

Some of you are thinking I haven’t be’d have just now.

And I’m going to do it one more time.

Maybe it’s not our job to simply behave according to outmoded standards that are mostly about not making anyone uncomfortable or keeping people in “their place.”

Maybe it’s our job to talk, calmly and respectfully, but clearly and with commitment, about the things that matter in our world.

Maybe it’s our job to say the things that desperately need to be said.

Maybe feeding the world is more important than knowing all the forks.

Maybe that’s what be-ing have is all about.

Dave was a pretty good teacher! My girls are off to a great start!



2 comments on “Be-ing Have”

  1. That’s funny – I remember my brothers saying that they were “being have”

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Sue Boardman, Certified Intentional Creativity®
Color of Woman Teacher & Coach

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