Or, perspective really is everything!!!
You know all the fairy tales full of happily ever after? Well, that was not my early experience!
There I was, in the church where I grew up, dressed like a doll on a cake and staring down the aisle at a whole lot of folks I knew. And one I had promised to marry.
The music started, as the music does in those events.
And so did my first panic attack!
I shook from head to toe. My heart raced. I couldn’t breathe. It took every muscle in my body to do what I was expected to do and put one foot in front of the other.
In those days I had not discovered the wonders of neuro-linguistic programming. If I had, I might have realized that – primary kinesthetic processor that I am – every cell in my body was screaming, NO!!!
A whole lot of things would have been different, had I listened.
And yet, I’m glad I didn’t.
Because, if I had, I wouldn’t be who I am, now. I wouldn’t have the amazing, wonderful family I have.
I wouldn’t have learned a whole lot of things that are now helping me help others on their paths.
Just between us, I used to dread this day. This reminder.
And then, somewhere along the way, I noticed that I had quit noticing it, and that was a relief in many ways.
This year is different.
This year I’ve spent the day making room for the things I’m learning. Room in my heart and mind. Room in my calendar. And room in my house.
Our house. And the Legendary Husband has been there every step of the way!
We’ve forged ahead in the wrestling match with the Closet Monsters. The laundry machines are doing what they do. There will be really good ribs for dinner. And fresh Black Mission figs! And there is paint drying after a circle of Red Madonna sisters met for some deep sharing and support.
As I listened to their stories, I was reminded that life is not about what everybody thinks you should be and do. It’s not about getting it all right the first time. It’s not about never making choices which don’t turn out the way we imagined.
Instead, it’s about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about asking to be witnessed when we need to be. It’s about not trying to fix everything all by ourselves.
And, it’s about celebrating the people and the beliefs and the practices that help us do those things.
One day at a time.
So be it… for me and for you and for all of us…
ps… the art at the top is from yesterday’s Flower Power Intentional Creativity® adventure! As intentions go, it works for me! If you have some intentions that matter to you, I’d like to help! Just let the calendar elves hook you up with 45 minutes. My gift. I’ve got great ideas for next steps!
pps… If you happen to have any figs handy, here’s a great thing to do with them! Rinse them very gently and wipe even more gently with a paper towel. Trim off the stem and slice them in half. Let them sit for a bit, drizzled with really, really good Balsamic vinegar. The sticky kind! Then, sprinkle them with cracked red or black pepper corns and freshly crumbled flaky sea salt. Enjoy!
Yes, Sue I took, had a panic attack 35 years ago and it was the best thing to ever happen. Sometimes the things we learn along the way are invaluable. Love reading your posts.
Thank you, dear Bettina… for reading and hearing! Here’s to learning on!!!
You are an inspiration and reading this has put me at a place where I can say I could use some help gettiing back to my canvas.
Thank you, dear Dee. Please let me know if you’d like some time to talk! I’ve been there! 😉