True confession…. Valentine’s Day has always been a challenge for me.
I liked making cards with hearts. I didn’t like the elementary school tradition of giving them out in classrooms. There were always the heartbroken kids who either didn’t get as many cards in the paper bag taped to their desk, or didn’t have any cards to give.
We moved a lot in those years and I was the new kid often enough that, early on, I worried about those who felt left out.
There were times when I was a teen that I would have sworn that Valentine’s Day was a good excuse for boys to pressure girls into proving their love.
As a young single mom, there were a couple of years when I skimped on real food to have treats to share with Dave’s pre-school class.
Years later, after the Legendary Husband came along, we developed the tradition of actually asking each other what we wanted to do, and when, to mark the tradition which often coincided with church calendar issues, as it does this year.
One of the more recent surprises, for me at least, has been learning the old stories of St. Valentine. Go ahead and google it, if you’re curious. Let’s just say that there are lots of stories that seem to have a great deal to do with who was writing them and why.
I opted, last night, for a new-fangled riff on tradition by hanging with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin at an online event known as Galentine’s Day, a fundraiser for the environment. It consisted of live table readings from Grace and Frankie.
There were, however, technical difficulties, so I wandered back to the land of Madam Secretary. It’s less of a nail-biter than the actual news! And, I’ve done some new noticing lately.
M Sec is a filters thing!
Elizabeth McCord has become something of a role model for me.
(For a bit of context, let me just say that my inner-teen remembers the days when a woman wasn’t guaranteed the right to open a checking account without a husband’s signature.)
Then there’s Bess. An extremely capable woman with a tremendous amount of responsibility. She speaks her mind, even when she’s up to her eyebrows in power struggles and assertive egos. Even when her voice shakes!
She’s a whole person with a challenging history, huge hope, and a passion for the experiment called democracy.
She does her best to live what she values. Love. Justice. Freedom. Voice. Choice. Sovereignty.
And, from what I’ve learned recently, had she lived in Salem in the late 1600’s, she might well have been hanged as a witch, along with two of my great aunts!
Now, you, wise reader, may be wondering how all this fits with Valentine’s Day. I have two answers.
Love should be about power for, rather than power over.
And, one of the things love is about – at least in our home – is an actual conversation like this:
The Legendary Husband, a couple days ago… “What would you like to do for Valentine’s Day?”
Me... “Honestly, I’d like to move it to May, when Origins is complete and the weather is good enough to eat on our favorite sidewalk!”
Blessedly, it works for us!
For now, though… fingerprint dots. For love and voice and choice. For my kids, who walked their beloved dog, Hazel, to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday. For healing friends.
The dots start out looking like the blob on the paint tray, above. And wind up helping me create a reality filled with hope, on canvas, and in the world.
Which feels a lot like love! At least according to the lovely fingerprint being known as What the World Needs Now.
ps… just between us, she represents the kind of role model many, many of my ancestors were, too!
pps… she’s also available for adoption! The original!!! And there’s a sale at FierceArtWithHeart! Just enter the code HIPPO at checkout for any item over $45. And hurry! The discount expires at midnight EST on Sunday, 2/18.
