Contemplations – Page 96

Hoping in the Face of Uncertainty

Posted on September 16, 2018by sue boardman

I would imagine that, at some point in your journey, you have hoped for something very much.

Perhaps it was a puppy. Or a baby brother. Or a new first grade teacher. Or a beloved child.

Perhaps it was knowing, deep in your soul, that you are loved.

(Feel free to fill in the blanks!)

Or, perhaps, it was hoping beyond hope that you could accomplish your dream, which is a bit problematic, assuming, as it does, that there is only one dream.

Sometimes, hoping is terrifying.

Tonight, I have decided not to be afraid.

I have decided to hope.

Not just emotionally or mentally, but with as much of myself as possible.

Which reminds me of a story…

One of my dearest friends is the guy who was my seminary pastoral counseling supervisor, my business partner, and still is one of my partners in trying to inject a bit of hope into the institutional church.

He has a granddaughter named Mary Elizabeth, which was, by chance, my grandmother’s name.

When she was learning to talk and interact with her world, she frequently insisted, “Mebbit doodit,” in the face of all the tall people trying to do things for her.

Tonight, I am channeling Mebbit.

I am taking care of the dogs. Making dinner happen. Painting prayer dots in thanks for an old friend who is marking 3 years free of cancer. And hoping against hope for an amazing opportunity for newness that I didn’t think would be available for me.

Many things have to be sorted out.

There isn’t much time.

And yet, I feel capable, calm, and ready for a new adventure into an ancient and totally new place.

There are details to work out.

Nothing is certain, yet.

And, in this moment, this Mebbit could use a bit of help dood-ing it.

But Mebbit believes, and so do I.

So, a bit of dinner.

Some more dots. (OK- lots!)

The risk of hope.

And 3 big dogs snoring gently on the floor while I try not to run over their toes with my fabulous wheeled painting chair in which I make the particular kind of magic known as art.

May your magic abound also in the world.

And, thanks, Mebbit, for teaching me well!

Oh, parli Italiano?

Contemplations Grandmothers

Second Hand Wisdom

Posted on September 12, 2018by sue boardman

Dear Ones,

It occurred to me, several years back, that second hand wisdom is a bit harder to hold on to than the Life is for Learning kind.

Recently, I realized that sometimes they bump into each other in particular moments. Now, I think, is one of those times.

And, I suspect I’m about to butt in. So be it. I’ve traveled far enough in my journey to take the flack.

In the words of Michael Pollan, Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Recycle. But, better yet, buy less stuff that comes encased in junk.

Register to vote. Yes, you. Now. Even if it means going online and wrestling with abysmal government websites. This is how we win! (And my girls are counting on you.) If you happen to live in Georgia, you have just less than 30 days. Now would be really good.

Pick up a paint brush. Or a wild purple Sharpie marker. Or, what the heck, some strawberry jam. Draw. Paint. Smear it around. Make big shoulder motions. Laugh when it gets on your clothes. Make loose, swirly, integrating motions. Good comes from adventures like this.

Go do something for somebody else.

You are healed enough. Really!

And make room for the possibility that you can do something for you, too.

Yes, you’re going to have to grapple with fear.

Newness is always that way.

What has been, can be changed.

Honest.

For you and for those you love and for those on the far corners of the planet who long for peace as much as you do.

How do I know?

Not simply because I remember Simon and Garfunkel from back in Central Park in the dark ages when I was a kid, though that helps.

Rather, because I have known a lot of change. Have longed for a lot of change. And have ventured into a lot of darkness to find change.

As the old song goes, it’s a lot about vision.

The kind that looks beyond the places we’ve always been and into the options for the future.

Yes, the journey is scary.

But it’s better than staying stuck. Better than giving into the machine. Better than setting down our paintbrushes.

Does it matter?

Do you matter?

Absolutely!

You just have to show up.

And, just between us, I’m counting on you.

So, as I mentioned, are my girls.

And the rest of the people on the planet with us.

Luther, for one, will be glad you jumped on board. He comes from a long line of fiercely compassionate peacemakers. And is more than willing to adopt you!

Contemplations Grandmothers

The miracle happened!!!

Posted on September 9, 2018by sue boardman

Friday night, I slept!

Perhaps, my chatty, opinionated paintings organized a field trip and went to the beach. Or the mountains.

Or, perhaps, I was just pretty tired. (Truth.)

In any event, I slept and dreamed the sort of dreams that don’t compel me to get up and write or paint or watch paint videos long before the birdies sing.

Mostly, I dreamed about vision. The kind I’m gaining as I go deeper and deeper into Intentional Creativity.

(Which is a pretty big thing for someone who hasn’t routinely “seen the pictures”!)

And the kind that’s more about intuition than it is actual eyesight.

Which may have had a lot to do with Luther’s visit from our dear friend the vet yesterday.

Luther, it seems, is not seeing so well as he was before, and he didn’t see all that terribly well back then.

Which was, for me, a bit of a blast from the past.

My grandmother noticing, the year I was in 5th grade, that I squinted at books and sat very close to the television.

A teacher concurring but reluctant to speak out lest she be, you know, wrong.

Stepping out of the eye doctor’s office with my first pair of glasses, and realizing, as many of you have probably also done, that I could see actual, individual leaves on trees.

Which seemed quite a miracle!

Sadly, dogs aren’t so known for wearing glasses. And, if he had some, Luther might well eat them.

So, research.

It’s a bigger question with this giant breed guy than one might imagine. We’re going to need a veterinary ophthalmologist who is pretty open-minded as to process.

Luther has been through a lot of trauma and I am, it seems, his transitional object.

Rather like Old Bernard.

Old Bernard was Dave’s beloved, and essential, stuffed St. Bernard puppy, complete with crushed pecan shell legs which I spent a fair amount of time suturing up over the years.

Old Bernard got us through many of the tribulations of a small child with a student/working single mom. Daycare. Doctors’ visits. Mom’s exams in nursing school. You get the idea.

And I am, it seems, Luther’s Old Bernard.

We’ve tried stuffed animals. He consumes them.

So, we need a specialty vet in an office as small and calm as possible. A lavender oil diffuser would not be out of order! A little Wholetones music!

And we need a vet who will let me participate.

Did I mention that Luther weighs about 130 pounds?

And definitely sorts for same?

It’s likely that much of the conversation will focus around protecting Luther’s considerably stronger vision in his right eye.

We’ve lived with a blind rescue dog before but wee, Bischon-esque Albert weighed about 18 pounds.

This is a whole different world!

Honestly, I wouldn’t be too surprised to find Luther and Albert and Old Bernard romping around in my dreams tonight.

Until then, I have more prayer dots to make.

Tomorrow, sushi and dumplings at Noodle in Decatur. A fabulous local, pasture raised chicken headed for the Instant Pot. And a huge tray of roasted veg. Maybe two trays. It’s a great way to make easy, real meals on busy days as the week goes on.

Oh, and CODEX (my new painting class which is, perhaps, more of a thinking class) starts tomorrow!

Deep breaths… in and out and in and …

Oh, and the art for today… signs are everywhere, if only we’re willing to see. Even in my bathroom! Complete with a lovely angel from the Southern US folk art wizard, Flack.

Art Journey Contemplations Grandmothers

“Mediums and Risky Glazes”

Posted on September 5, 2018by sue boardman

In the land of Cosmic Cowgirls, where I’ve been hanging out for just about a year, it’s step nine of the Intentional Creativity Method: The 13 Steps.

Integrating: Mediums and Risky Glazes.

This is often a scary step – and there can be lots of resistance, so make light of it and at the same time let it be in the good kind of fear – where we are walking to the edge.

– Shiloh Sophia McCloud

It’s the next step for my painting project known as Alchemist on this vision quest and, as I “suspect” the wizard-teacher intended, the next step for me, as well.

She/they dragged me out of bed at 2 am insisting that it was risky glaze time, just as soon as I got this blog post finished to explain the signs of virtual risky glazing you may be noticing on this website and my Facebook page.

You see, glazes are meant to, well, integrate elements of a painting (and the painter, herself!) into a new whole. And that’s what the new images and language you’ll find in my world are meant to do, too.

First, a story.

I joined, as my son proclaimed, the blog-o-sphere about three years ago. Clueless did not begin to describe!

Tools for the Journey, it was called in those days. Bits of my books, tips on boiling bones, the occasional political opinion when I was feeling really brave. Book reviews. Poems, prayers, and pictures of the garden. Quilts. Lots of them. Inspiration, especially aimed for folks about the business of grandmothering.

My girls would have been about 5 and 7-ish at the time.

Then, in January of 2017, helped along by the amazing author and artist, SARK, I found language for what I thought I was doing.

I was The Fiercely Compassionate Grandmother.

Oddly enough, I found that language… at least the fiercely compassionate part… in a book illustrated by Shiloh Sophia McCloud. Yep!

And the puzzle pieces of my life began to come together.

A new website was born. New images. New language. New business cards. Even t-shirts!

Before too long, there began to be blog posts about painting, amongst the more usual ones, for I set out on a pilgrimage.

No one was more surprised than I!

What was even more surprising than the realization that I could actually learn to paint something other than walls, was the stunning awareness that I had wandered into a cosmos in which I discovered an amazing new tool for doing what I so longed to do… helping those who identified, in whatever way, with the Grandmother archetype to become one of those five people for their kids and, maybe, for the world.

And that requires another story, which you can read here. Just come right back, because we’re getting to the exciting part!!!

Have you ever made bone broth?

It’s a lot like life! Bits and pieces of things, not all of them terribly appealing on their own, a magical container, and the addition of energy over time. Depending on your particular container, lots of time.

And some help along the way. Especially if, like me, you happen to have a stock pot so big you can’t lift it all by yourself!

Which is a lot like realizing I can’t be The fiercely compassionate grandmother to the whole world. (Duh!)

The world needs lots and lots of fiercely compassionate grandmothers. Literal ones. Community ones. Thrilled ones. Reluctant ones. Archetypal ones. Young. Old. Women. Even men, if they’re very brave. Appalled, passionate ones who care deeply about things like justice and self-expression and an honest-to-goodness global community, ready to set about making stardust soup out of the situational angst of our world.

Everything I’ve ever learned has led to this moment.

My calling is to call the circle. To support and encourage as many fiercely compassionate grandmothers as possible. And to teach those who are curious about the miraculous ways fierce compassion and our own dreams can be set loose with magic wands like paintbrushes. And dots. Lots of dots.

So here we are. Fiercely Compassionate Grandmothers. Welcome!!! If you want to be here, you belong. (We might even make some new t-shirts!)

Honestly, I’m still sorting out details like emails and domain names and exactly what to change, when.

There will be lots of opportunities ahead. Bowls of stardust soup. Working with me individually. Workshops. Even videos, once I figure out the technology!

And retreats, like Grammy Camp. I can’t wait!

Soon. After that little business about literal risky glazing. And, perhaps, a nap!

Art Journey Contemplations Grandmothers

Paint for healing… and fun!

Posted on September 2, 2018by sue boardman

Yesterday was a big day at my house!

Six fabulous, creative women signed on for an Intentional Creativity journey deep into their own hearts and the heart of the world.

We passed the red thread and pondered stories and painted new reality into being.

We also snacked and laughed and cried.

And prayed in dots. Lots of dots.

And got to know ourselves just a bit better.

Today, I’m pretty tired. And happy dancing in my heart.

(It’s easier on the knees that way!)

Watch for more details as time goes on. And opportunities to join in!

For now, here’s what I learned:

Talking and painting at the same time is a bit of a challenge!

Definitely can’t do both of those things and munch as well, so I ended up pretty hungry.

And I can, indeed, paint bee wings!!!

Many of you have been curious about what I’m up to so I wanted to share this video with you. It’s my teacher, Shiloh Sophia McCloud, dancing with paint and talking about Intentional Creativity. I hope you’ll be as amazed by the possibilities in it as I am.

You’re joyfully invited to visit my Facebook Author page to check out some new art and meet my own Tree of Life painting. Would love to have you “like” the page if you haven’t yet, and share with your friends.

And meet me back here Wednesday for an adventure… we’re remodeling!

Contemplations Grandmothers

Contentment… really!

Posted on August 29, 2018by sue boardman

A tiny orange and black moth, not even as big as the end of my thumb, flaps her wings near the window as I write. I saw her twin while I was walking the frogyrinth, earlier.

The words to an old hymn echo deep inside me. I’ve got peace/love/joy like a river… in my soul.

I’ve hummed along all weekend.

A new friend rests nearby while, outside, the ballet of Qigong active exercise goes on.

This is, in fact, my favorite movement. The one focused on contentment.

It’s mesmerizing.

And, I suspect, very counter-cultural.

There’s no money to be made in contentment.

Please hear me say that I’m not throwing stones. I grew up with a dad who fed his family with his skills in sales and marketing.

We didn’t so much watch TV when I was a kid, as we watched commercials.

And commercials are literally everywhere we look these days. All the time.

Which is worth a bit of noticing. And some wondering to go along with it.

How long has it been since many of us have felt content… even for a few moments?

And, the really big question: How in the world do we help our kids and grandkids get a glimpse of what contentment feels like?

They’re not easy questions, I know.

I suspect, though, that the answer begins in becoming aware of our almost overwhelming tendency toward comparison.

Bigger. Stronger. Smarter. Faster. Prettier. Younger. Richer.

Well, you fill in the blanks…

And, maybe — just maybe — the answer has to do with valuing ourselves and each other as individuals instead of focusing on how we compare to everyone else.

Which is also a really good way to avoid more bullies and kids inclined to be victims of bullying!

It doesn’t have to be about being perfect.

(Or never shopping again!)

Just making a couple of shifts in the ways we talk about ourselves and each other.

And maybe creating a bit of peace/love/joy while we’re at it.

At least, that’s what the frog said!

Art Journey Contemplations Grandmothers

Perspective!

Posted on August 26, 2018by sue boardman

I am in the universe.

The universe is in my body.

The universe and I are one.

Thus begins a favorite Spring Forest Qigong meditation.

My Rabbit Hole journey, which is drawing to a close, changed things, as Rabbit Holes generally do.

A magnificent space. Stunning gardens. Music flowing with peace. Gentle gongs keeping fascinating people on a journey together. (Or mostly!) Delicious food, elegant in its simplicity.

And as close at it seems 10 people might come to a virtual absence of inner critics!

Just people gently making space for each other to take care of themselves. No shame. No blame. No pressure.

It feels rather like a miracle!

Healing of a powerful sort, thanks to old friends and new from Learning Strategies.

I knew when I signed up for this particular Rabbit Hole excursion that it would be a stretch for me, activity-wise.

And it was.

I also know that stretching is how we get stronger. More whole.

There have been times in the past when I wasn’t sure I could stretch any farther without breaking. Until I tried.

And then, just in the last few weeks, the painting, above, was born inside me.

Two perspectives, different on the surface, encountering each other on the path called Color of Woman.

This weekend, image and language came together. An unexpected combination of Intentional Creativity and intentional movement. Plus a bit of geography!

I am in the universe.

The universe is in my body.

The universe and I are one.

Words I’ve known for several years.

Now I know what it looks like. I am changed. And my world feels a whole lot bigger!

Come back here Wednesday to meet the frogs. And the wonder of contentment!

The dogs will be home from Camp, too!