I have been thinking about two words, lately.
I am.
Specifically in the sense that I am 65 years old.
Frankly, in the list of things I’ve pondered putting on a business card, that never made the top – you know – zillion choices!
And, I am. Since Friday.
So far, so good!
Possibly, even better than that!
Grandmother Moon seems enthused, too. So much so that she’s been whispering even more loudly than usual.
The same two words. Over and over.
I am.
Which, given many of the places I’ve been hanging out for the last 35-ish years, brought some other things to mind.
I Am that I Am. (from the Hebrew)
And, because Hebrew is a rather complex language in which it’s hard to tell nouns from verbs and past tense from present or future…
I will be what I will be.
And, one which really calls to me…
I create what(ever) I create.
Now, to be clear, Hebrew was not my most outstanding academic adventure. And it’s just possible that Uncle Walter (Brueggemann) might be busy doing something else at the moment.
So, I looked these possible translations up online.
Here’s one of the big things I do remember from Hebrew… there’s a whole lot of interpreting going on!
And, since all we’re talking about here is my birthday card to myself, I’m going with…
I will become what I choose to become.
It feels really good! Hopeful… empowering… true.
Which isn’t bad, in the face of Tuesday’s physical therapy appointment!
I even have a birthday gift to help me keep laughing along the way…
And, yes… it’s from my kids, which makes it even better!
As for what I’m becoming/creating…
The warp thread for my new stick weaving project is due to arrive sometime tonight. (It’s late, but I’m adapting.)
The book chapter I’m writing has appeared, Sue-style, scribbled in a mixed media journal with circles and arrows and exclamation points. It wouldn’t mean much to you, yet, but in my creating world, it has become!
I’ve figured out what my favorite room for hatching needs in order to be the next step more me.
Cheap. Easy. And it doesn’t require ladders! (These are all good things!!!)
And, this evening, I spent about 45 minutes on the phone inviting a new friend into the magic world of filters and medicine baskets and hope.
When you get right down to it, that is the big part of what I am becoming.
Ways to go on when the more feels beaten out of you.
When creating feels like way more hope than you have.
When you’re not sure there’s enough left in you to matter anymore.
Here’s why – at least for me:
In partnership with the Divine, I create… and walk the Way of Love.
It has, admittedly, taken me a while to get here. And it feels like plenty to keep me busy.
It also feels like a pretty great birthday present. Along with the notes from my girls!
ps… on a healing path of your own? Looking for some new tools for your medicine basket? Let’s talk! By special agreement with the calendar elves, you can claim 45 minutes, as my gift. Just CLICK HERE!
pps… the painting is deep under-layers from my most recent Insight painting, in the “structure” part of the processing. This really is me! What is that kind of “real” for you??? Leave a comment below, or email me. Or negotiate with the elves for some time to chat! suesvoice@gmail.com