What do you want to be???

It’s a big question. And one many of us didn’t learn to ask when we were the Littles. It always felt – at least to me – as though nobody asked what I wanted to be then… in that moment, and the next day, and the days after that.

Just, when I grew up!

Never mind, for the moment, that questions like that are really hard for people who haven’t yet begun, neurologically, to think abstractly.

Let’s think about it this way…

If you’d asked a four year old me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I probably would have told you that I wanted to be the Romper Room Lady! You see, I was already becoming an expert at the moving thing and the Romper Room Lady moved with us from Cleveland to Pittsburg, which made me feel less alone.

A few years later, I’d have told you I wanted to be a teacher just like Miss Knott, my second grade idol.

By the time I was about 14, I knew! I wanted to be a veterinarian and help pets who loved their people. And yes… more moves and a Golden Retriever named Alice who was my best friend.

Things happened, as they often do, and I did not become (officially) any of those things.

What I did become, back then, was a college drop-out, single mom who needed a lot of help (and food stamps and student loans!) to become a nurse, only to get told I didn’t get paid to think, which left me just getting the hang of the abstract thought thing and knowing more school was in order.

About then, I met a guy named Steve Glenn. Steve taught me some things to do that began to shift my view of the world.

If you’ve been reading along for a while, you can probably say this with me, and I’d love it if you would!

If a teenaged child has 5 adults who will listen to them, take them seriously, and not shame or blame them for their questions, that child is practically immune from ever attempting suicide.

That was when it began to occur to me that perhaps the real issue was claiming what I wanted to do, while BEING ME.

Which, frankly, is a scarier question. At least it was for me.

So, deep breath! And fast-forward through years full of noticing and wondering. And becoming a grandmother. And frequent flyer miles with the knee surgeon. And being one of those 5 people as often as I could.

Which brings us to now. In a world where it feels like a whole lot of people are trying to cancel out people like me. Like us. To take away our choices. And silence our voices. And hide our votes.

Steve was right, all those years ago. And what I learned from him is quite possibly more urgent now than it was then. And the change starts with me. And you. And our versions of being one of those 5 people right where we are.

So, I’m turning my body into a billboard. And ordering a new batch of yard signs.

I am feeding myself… body, mind, and spirit. Homemade broth. Grown-up Fairy Tales. Prayer dots.

And, physical therapy. Even after yesterday, which was no fun AND helpful! (Already!!!)

And here’s what I want to do… what I intend… what I AM doing…

I am putting myself out there to listen to my peeps – the ones I know and the ones I have yet to meet – to take them seriously, and not shame or blame them for their questions.

To help them claim what they want, way deep down, and to rattle my Medicine Basket for just the tools that will help them get from their version of the Romper Room Lady to whatever expression of Good Trouble calls them in this world, now.

It’s going to take a whole lot of us. And I’m all in!

ps… the photo at the top, “Guardians of Fierce Compassion… Then. Now. Always.” is my best idea of what all this looks like.

pps… thanks to Daphne for modeling! And for agreeing to let me tell you that her name means Laurel Tree, and symbolizes love and protection.

ppps… it’s entirely likely that you, dear heart, have spent a lot of years trying to take yourself seriously, and not shame or blame yourself for your questions. And it’s hard to do alone! So, check this out! A circle of sisters to sit around the fire with, and paint what you’re learning with, and be celebrated on your road! And it starts soon!!! Fix yourself a cuppa, grab a red thread if it’s handy, and click here for a real path forward! I’d be thrilled for you to be you and join in!