…of lots of paint & scary words!

It’s Vivid 2022 painting weekend in the land of Intentional Creativity® And, at least for me, the only thing that’s been predictable is not knowing what comes next!

I started with the decidedly not blank canvas, above.

It was a volunteer, lonely after an adventure that didn’t quite make the finish-line a while back, when it was entirely possible that I had too many things on my list.

At 36 inches square, it’s manageable enough for me to do much of the work on a table which, at the moment, my left shoulder and hip appreciate.

I began, not quite consciously, with a glaze layer to blend things just a bit.

You see, the whole notion of vivid is not one that was popular in my family while I was growing up.

Blending in was frequently advised, especially during the moving years, with all my adventures as the new kid.

Also, my dad though my Brownie uniform was the best thing ever and suggested that Mom sign me up for four more clubs so I would only need five school outfits to be like everybody else. (I’m pretty sure he was serious!)

I have, however, learned a few things since then. And let a few more things go!

Fortunately, a lot of the Vivid process involves trying something, followed by noticing, wondering, and trying something new!

And, you really can’t mess it up! (Yet another thing it’s taken me a while to grasp!)

Now’s the time for me to explain that there’s actually more to the name of this particular adventure.

Officially, it’s Vivid 2022… Dancing each other home!

But, since you really can’t mess it up, when it was time for setting my personal Intention, I decided on Vivid 2022… Dancing myself home… connecting all the best in me for the greatest good!

Yep. It’s a mouthful. And it feels really true!

One of the next steps had to do with composting. As in breaking down old stuff to feed the earth and create new, helpful stuff. (Trust me… the demo dance was enlightening!)

Maybe it was the news. Or my recent digging ever more deeply in the ancestral way-back machine. In any event, I went for real!

I chose to compost my sense of not enoughness. And, as these things tend to happen, the magic flowed with the paint. This is what I wrote in my journal:

I learned not enough from generations of women who did not feel enough. It’s not that they didn’t love me – it wasn’t about me! It was that not enough was all they knew, because the world has been invested for ages in teaching women just that.

The tears, as you might imagine, were flowing by that time. And then I wrote this:

It ends with me!

And the tears mixed with the paint, as they so often do, and I was changed.

I know! I really can’t change it all for everybody, by myself.

I can, however, live enough out loud! And, this is a glimpse of my vow in this moment, late Saturday night:

The next thing that happened, early Sunday morning, was that Grandmother Moon went to whispering, as she so often does. Not enough, it seemed, was still on her mind. This is what I heard:

It isn’t just that not enough was what they knew, dear heart. It’s that not enough was how many, many of them stayed alive, even while so many more were tried and burned and beheaded and hanged.

This, in case you’re wondering, is not hypothetical in my family. And, so, I added names to the back. The ones I know so far.

Next, ombre! Which is a good place to put the tears. (Phoebe helped!)

There’s more painting to do. And noticing and wondering. And claiming! For this moment, please hear me say, I’m on it!

ps… just in case you’re wondering, voting DOES count for living enough out loud!

pps… want some help sorting your noticings and wonderings??? I have space for 2 new individual clients, and a super holiday special offer for a package of sessions! You probably have questions… The elves will hook you up! 45 minutes, my gift to you.