So, I got back from Hawaii. Bill got back from Seattle. Sarah got back from Camp. There are lots of things going on and it took us a few days to get the hang of all the togetherness again. Don’t forget the laundry and the grocery shopping and the garden. You get it.
Then, everything kind of fell apart for me on Wednesday. Wednesday morning to be exact. My to-do list started bouncing around in my head like super balls in a clothes dryer. Turns out that all those separate things are really all related and I couldn’t figure out which one came first or how to do several of them at once. All of this was helped along by the fact that I don’t yet know how to do some of the things on the list. Oh, and I accidentally discovered that the due date for submissions to the Anthology project happening somewhere on the fringes of my list was today! Not today. Wednesday. The writing was done. The logistics were a bit ambiguous. You know the speed you set your dryer on for heavy things like white towels? Super balls. Right there!
Somehow, dinner happened and the writing got submitted and I, as you may have imagined, opted for a couple of West Wing episodes. Trust me when I tell you that the presidential debate during their last season was a great deal more informative and comforting than the recent live version in this dimension!
Then the sun rose on Thursday. And with the light came inspiration. I knew where to start!
Step one involved taking a couple of manuscripts in progress, each with its own batch of index cards and envelopes, along with several journals sprouting flocks of little sticky flags, and setting them all aside. This was complicated by a notable lack of horizontal surfaces in the vicinity of my chair but I persevered.
Step two meant hunting up some old friends. Not books, this time, but videos and webinars. People who had inspired and encouraged me on the road to author, artist, and activist. My search was helped along by a couple of well-timed emails announcing that the friends in question had new things to share. All I needed to do was click and show up!
Step three was the actual showing up, complete with timely batches of the green smoothie de jour. Inspiration requires sustenance! And in the background, the voice of a very dear friend whispering about reminding me of things I already know.
The showing up paid off in a big way! The deep breaths probably didn’t hurt, either. I was reminded that I’d been in this place before and survived. An observation frequently found soothing by our non-conscious minds!
I was also reminded that there are people who know some of the things I don’t and it’s ok to ask for help!
And, best of all, I was reminded that there are things only I can do. One of those is writing. Since that’s true, it occurred to me that I might start with writing. And I have!
Then, I scheduled appointments with a couple of the wizards in my life who know how to do some of the things I don’t, starting with the one who seems to have the hang of putting things in order. Somehow, the sight of those dates all neatly written on the paper calendar I got a while back because I needed a big picture view is calming. Along with a few more deep breaths.
And, since we’re being honest and I have a hard time doing one thing at a time, I put a new-ish journal with lots of blank space left in it just where I can reach it. Ideas for an interview I’m doing soon, about moving on from our fears, were popping up left and right!
And the world got a bit more manageable! Or not. Maybe I remembered that I’d been here before and survived. Maybe I asked for help. Maybe I started out in a way that feels right for me. Maybe it’s just the “black” new moon everybody’s been talking about.
Which ever way you look at it, the writing is happening. (And there may be exciting news in the near future!) Hope is alive again!