I am excited to share this story with you, despite the tiny, all too familiar, voice whispering inside me, suggesting that I might feel kind of, well, dense for not catching on sooner!
A bit of background for all the new folks I’m delighted to welcome to the conversation… I’ve been dealing for more than 20 years, now, with a variety of pain and mobility challenges. (It’s possible that the underlying issue is a legacy from my paternal grandmother, but we’re not blaming anybody, here!) Suffice it to say that I’ve had lots of practice sitting still, trying not to hurt!
The current strategy of staying home in order to stay safe and protect others, frankly, hasn’t helped. I’ve begun to suspect that I may have lost “a bit” of muscle tone by spending so much time in convenient proximity to the magic chair.
Beyond the fact that all my sitting wasn’t really working, the light bulb came on just recently and I remembered that we give power to the things (or people!) we avoid.
(Chase that rabbit wherever it leads!)
Here’s what I noticed when the light came on… I wasn’t sleeping at all well, either.
You may have noticed, as I did, that sleeping poorly is not conducive to much of anything desirable.
And, then, another light bulb came on!
I remembered that, some time back, Bill was sick and snuffly for a bit and I slept on the trundle bed we got for the girls when they visit.
You guessed it! I felt better – if lonely – when I slept in that bed.
This bit of enlightenment presented another challenge, as so often happens.
We’re a bit short of horizontal surfaces in our house. Constantly multiplying art supplies – and art furniture – are a huge contributor to the shortage.
So is the fact that I’m pretty staircase avoidant. And, yes, there’s a pattern here! A pattern that often leaves Bill, who’s considerably more clutter-tolerant than I am, in charge of trips to and from the basement with stuff we either need upstairs or don’t.
Curious, by this point in my journey, I took advantage of the fact that Bill was away over Labor Day weekend, summoned all my determination, and “cleared away” the mountain of spare bedding and pillows which had some how collected on the girls’ bed. Read that cleared away to a co-opted rolling chair from the studio! (No stairs involved!)
Then, obviously, I slept there one night.
And, when I got up the next day, I didn’t hurt as much!
Next began the process of enlisting Bill into my obvious plan to get a new mattress.
After that, the choosing, without, you know, venturing out to actually test anything!
I won’t bore you with the he needs – she needs drama. We figured it out!
Then we waited. Longer than I would have chosen but not unreasonably long, given the current supply and shipping challenges.
By the time you read this, we will have slept on the miracle known as the new mattress for five nights. And, as I mentioned, I don’t hurt as much!
Which, I suspect, led the Muse to whisper visionary eye about my almost finished Legend painting. Connected to the model of right brain creativity, the visionary eye represents, as you’ve clearly guessed, one who sees beyond that which is physically visible.
The Greek word for that is pronounced Bleppo which is there, on her lower eyelid, just in case I forget. (Again!)
It boils down to this:
When we move toward our deepest selves – our most precious dreams – instead of simply away from fear and pain, there is the likelihood of great healing.
All of which just thrills me!
And – best of all – we can help our beloved littles learn, too!
ps… the painting has chosen her name: Living Her Legendary Powers!