Searching for balance!

Yes… the neurological kind, more frequently these days.

Also, though, the other kinds. Intellectual/Emotional. Work/Rest. Head/Hands. Showing up/Hiding. I’m guessing you hear me! And, in the midst of all the searching, a whole lot of noticing and wondering.

You know… Storms. News. Uncertainty. Holidays. Faith – a bit dusty and hidden, perhaps. And, since we’re being real… probably fear, too.

Then, there are the things that need doing. Not just the routine things. The big things we really long to do!

I have been coping, as I often do, with paint. In the land of #Filters, painting supplies go in the Medicine Basket, aka – Strategies.

Tears, too. Paul Coelho explained it this way:

Words are tears that have been written down. Tears are words that need to be shed…

There’s a whole lot of tears and paint going on in the canvas you glimpsed, above. It’s from my #Quickening journey and it’s changed a lot this weekend. It’s also taught me a lot… about listening. You see, even though there won’t be visible words for a bit longer, I’ve needed to listen DEEP to hear them!

And it’s MY voice that needs hearing. Well, the voice that was a gift from many of my ancestors, filtered through this world, now. Their stories, yes. And their courage to speak in times and places when that was a dangerous thing.

There’s another layer of deep work I’ve discovered in this particular paint/word journey. I needed to set a whole lot of my familiar stuff aside in order to hear the messages waiting for me along the way.

I needed to set aside what I wanted to hear in order to hear what was really there for me.

I needed to set aside what I thought I ought to be hearing in order to hear new messages in this world.

And, now, I need to externalize the new hearing and knowing. The new claiming.

Yep! Images. Words. Tears. And, another bit of newness, as well. New HOPE!

This is, after all, a day of HOPE for many of us. And a day of CHESED… or Loving Kindness. Which, when you get down to it, are great additions to our Medicine Baskets! Every day!!!

Today, I am painting HOPE.

Soon, I will be teaching the most hopeful tool I know. #Filters! The perspective which helps brave seekers like us to move, step by step, to the place that is calling us. Frederick Buechner put it like this:

The place where we are called is the place where our deep joy and the world’s deep longing meet.

And NOW is the time for that journey, in so many, many ways!

Curious??? Even if a tiny bit anxious??? Click here for all the details! (And for a big, time-sensitive discount!)

Isn’t it time to answer YOUR call???

ps… true confession! My #Filters needed a bit of adjusting in this moment, too. Fortunately, under all the MSNBC in my Medicine Basket, I unearthed the Princess Diaries, 1 & 2. Here’s to YOUR time to shine! (Seriously!!!)

There’s a kids’ book called Terrible Tuesday…

And, just between us, I felt like I was starring in it yesterday! This, despite the fact that I haven’t read the book and am not real sure why its existence was stored deep in my awareness!

First, please hear me say that I’m fine-ish. Let’s just say that lots of things decided to hurt and twitch, which isn’t really much fun, and it’s not helpful when it comes to the long, long list. So, gratitude for the physical therapy tribe. For coping strategies. For smoked salmon. And for a very welcome nap!

Then, things got interesting! You see, the next item on my list was catching up on the things that could be labeled behind if we believed in that sort of thing. Today, though, I’m even more convinced than I was that sometimes we’re just not yet ready for those things!

I began with a paint brush. Some fine-tuning on the canvas which will become the surface for working with the wisdom cards I’m creating for an Intentional Creativity® adventure called #Quickening. And, yes… this is new ground for me!

Then, on to a #Quickening paint adventure I had missed live, about 3 weeks ago.

If we pause for a moment to contemplate the big world, lots of things have happened in those 3 weeks. Things that I now realize I’ve had some time to process before tackling the video. And that, my friend, feels like a blessing in the sense that there’s only so much NEW I can handle in any given moment.

I also know it may work differently for you and that makes total sense. I just love it when we own our journeys, consciously!

Here’s what I learned while I was watching the video, which was – on the surface – about dots and swirls…

My job… my choice… is to make space for the learning and claiming to happen! And the movements involved in dots & swirls are one great way to make space!

Now, for the big news!!! Dots and swirls are not the only tools in my Medicine Basket! There are #Filters in there, too… and they’re about to bust out in a big way!!! I’m going to be teaching #Filters for the Intentional Creativity Foundation, starting in June!

Just between us, we’ve been working on this for a while and there were a couple of moments when the waiting part got just the tiniest bit frustrating. Here we are, though, in this world, now, and I’m going out on a limb and saying – out loud – that we need #Filters, now more than ever!

Oh!!! YOU’RE INVITED!!! And we are going to paint, along the way, but please hear me say that no previous painting experience – or confidence, for that matter – is needed. In fact… go here to see what some former newbies have to say. All the details are there, too!

ps… Terrible Tuesday was written by Hazel Townson & Tony Ross.

pps… huge thanks for a gizmo called a TENS Unit which is now, blessedly, at work helping with the stuff that hurts! Genius physical therapist, too!!!

ppps… curious about Filters??? The Tigon mascot says: “Take a deep breath and check it out, now, while there’s a serious discount going on! Go here!!!”

My Medicine Basket’s new resident!

Medicine Baskets were high on the list of things we didn’t cover in nursing school or seminary!

In all fairness, we were busy with washing our hands and starting IV’s and things like Hebrew grammar and the Book of Order. Anyone who knows me will swear that I’m still top of the class in hand washing and I didn’t actually flunk Hebrew, though there was a time when that seemed quite likely.

These days, I have an actual Medicine Basket – of the legendary wise woman sort – and several more which insist on prime real estate in my paintings. There’s also a new one with wheels in the waiting-to-be-transformed line, but that’s a story for a different day.

In this moment, the Medicine Basket between my ears seems to be in charge! Debates. Quotes. And what feels like about a zillion questions! The owl seems to have nested in the basket which is somehow comforting… and I’ll take all of that I can get these days!

You see, there’s a whole lot of stuff hatching in me! And the owl has apparently decided to take over the wisdom card project that goes along with the two new books.

For the last couple days, my job has been peacekeeper! You see, the owl isn’t the only opinionated winged being involved. My recent phoenix has insisted on helping, too! You may remember her…

For a bit, it felt like a battle between wisdom and perseverance. Finally, though, after something that could very nearly be labeled a couple’s coaching session, we are at peace, they and I. There is, indeed, a whole lot of chaos in our world and rising beats wallowing, every time!

There’s also a whole lot of need for collected wisdom, set free in this world. Set free to become new wise things… now!

Blessedly, the grand-teens were here for a bit and they ask really good questions… the kind that help me be more clear! And leave me wondering what a mythic owl-phoenix offspring would look like! (That one’s likely to take some dreaming! In fact, that one’s likely to find its way into at least one of the books!)

For now, though, one of the most precious medicines in my basket. (And, perhaps, the first conscious one!)

I learned it this way, from my old teacher-friend, Steve Glenn…

If a teenaged child has 5 adults who will listen to them, take them seriously, and not shame or blame them for their questions, that child is practically immune from ever attempting suicide.

And a bit of a re-frame for this moment, from the me who has experienced the world changing over the 40 years since I met Steve…

With fiercely compassionate, conscious intention, may WE be one of those 5 adults for as many of our Littles as possible… listening to them, taking them seriously, and not shaming or blaming them for their questions… starting this moment. Now.

ps… in observance of these holy days, a quote from another of the wise voices in my Medicine Basket:

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.

– Anne Lamott

Walking the talk…

So, as you might have heard, I have pretty much all of The West Wing and Madam Secretary memorized. (It’s that whole auditory/digital processing thing!) Every now and then, though, even I need a bit of a break.

Now is one of those times. Thus, New Amsterdam.

Time out for a bit of context. (Yep! A Filters thing!!!)

The third season of New Amsterdam picks up, just about 4 years ago, with an episode called The New Normal (3.1). Plane crashes. Covid. Unemployment. Blood shortages. And, no… they didn’t overplay it.

The punchline, if you will, was toward the end, when hospital administrators across New York had the radical notion that working together could help with life-threatening shortages. Swapping in-stock meds for desperately needed blood. Vent tubing for gloves. And it all began with a question… How can I help?

And, yes… the nurse who still lurks inside me had chills and tears, pretty much the whole time I watched.

The big ah-hah for me, though, was realizing how much different my reaction was in this moment. I’d seen it before. Probably 3 or 4 times. This time, though, what made it through my filters was different. Bigger. More urgent.

And, yes… it has a whole lot to do with the news!

Let’s fast-forward, now, to Why Not Yesterday? (3.6). A whole bunch of people dealing with systemic racism and sexism. With pay equity. And opportunities.

And, in the background, music.

I had to look it up. Barry Mann & Cynthia Weil’s song, sung by – among others – Mama Cass Elliot, in 1970.

A new world comin’

And you, dear heart, have probably guessed why the tune is still swimming in my head.

The world did get better for some of us since those days. Bits of better, here and there. And, not nearly enough!

Then came the glue, from another channel, that holds all this together. Another re-run!

Stephen Colbert and Sen. Cory Booker, from Monday night.

Sense. Hope. Determination. (And no blood pressure spikes!)

Now, I have no idea whether Stephen and Cory know the song, A New World Coming. (I’m really kind of hoping they do!)

I do know, though, that those old songs I learned around the campfire matter, still, in my heart. And it seems to me that we need as many of us singing this one as we can get in this moment. It’s probably going to work a whole lot better for Mama Cass to lead the sing-a-long than it would for me to try it, so here you go…

And, yes… the best thing to do in a plague of whatever kind is to help! Often that starts with helping ourselves!!! So… what’s one thing – one easy, accessible, meaningful thing – you could do for you in the next 24 hours??? Seriously!

Here’s mine… a bowl of soup for dinner! Home concocted, if not exactly homemade from the beginning. (I had help with the broth!) Added herbs and extra veg. My favorite bowl. Healthy, comforting, and delicious. And, tomorrow, another of those easy, accessible, meaningful things. Because I can. And it helps me help.

It’s going to take a whole bunch of us!!! For now…

ps… stay tuned! Angel painting and Filters details coming soon! Your medicine basket will be excited!!!

Showing up!!!

There are “Hands Off” protests going on all over the US, today, including the one right here in my chair! I’m hoping you’ll pardon just a wee bit of over-sharing…

My Fiercely Compassionate Rebel Grandmother’s heart is at the protests. The rest of me is in the midst of a hypermobility flare and a few other inconvenient things, as yet un-labeled.

Which leads me to one of my most precious questions… What CAN I do???

Well, I can speak. I can write. I can open doors to filter-shifts. I can help map the way from here to the place where we are called. And, I can make art!

And, it seems we need a word about art in this moment. You see, my laptop isn’t uploading new photos in WordPress just now. So, the photo at the top is as close as I can get, imagery-wise, to what I meant to share. And I’m grateful, gentle reader, for your understanding!

The “sign” I’ve been working on will no doubt be just as relevant and urgent when I get to show it to you! And, it’s already laid claim to a spot on the front porch, for as long as it takes.

You see, the issues being placed front and center today… some of them are very personal for me. Threats to Social Security, for sure. Medial care. Voting rights. And massive, intentional danger to public education. There’s more, though.

I have assisted in abortion health care.

I have helped to deliver infants by cesarean section for young teen moms… one of them a 13 year old with developmental challenges, forced to carry the child of her mother’s partner, “because they were good Christians.” When I told that child that her baby was a girl, she sobbed, “How will I keep her safe?”

Back then, when my son was 5 or 6, I had never dreamed of becoming a grandmother. And I had certainly never dreamed of being a grandmother in the context of this moment.

One of my grands is touring colleges. And I’m terrified.

Both of my grands were raised with the notion that they have choice and voice. And that’s the way they’ve always done it!

And so, I painted on. I emailed members of Congress. I made a purchase from a company that believes people matter. All people. And one that sells safer, more natural paint.

And I worked on my latest fairy tale. One of the ones where all the people matter! There’s a scrappy, liberated, not remotely matchy-matchy quilt painting that goes with the story and I’ll share that, too. Soon!

Elsie, my story-Gramma who was also my quilt-Gramma, has loaned me her voice. Her sense of drama. Her awareness of some of the old ways. Writing these stories for a world I suspect she’d be plenty pissed about with so much of her spirit within me is an experience I never imagined. An experience I’m beyond grateful for.

Elsie was 30 years old when she got the right to vote. Five of her six children were male. Four of them served in the military. The fifth stayed home to help on the farm, after Grampa Frank passed.

What I remember most is her determination. And, she and I would no doubt have some details to sort in this day and age. I’m pretty sure, though, that she’s not at all surprised that Joan of Arc showed up in my painting just now!

Me, either!!!

And, as far as I can tell, the image at the top holds Joan’s energy and passion, too!

So, a bit more painting – more, hoping and doing what I CAN. Hoping the power holds out during the tornado warnings. And, of course, prayer dots!

The lightning is picking up, so I’m going to call this good for just now. Please take good care of you and yours.

With much love,

All the ME’s!

It’s 2:30 on Wednesday afternoon. (EDT) and it’s one of those days that is turning out to need all the ME’s!

Blessedly, the ME who is in charge of making tea woke up first. Followed quickly by the ME with the emphatic reminder that turning the house alarm off before letting the plumber in was a decidedly useful plan!

Then another ME chimed in, waving my phone in my face and insisting that I check the notes I typed into texts while I was listening to the paintings whisper useful things in the middle of the night. That, of course, set paint ME to jumping up and down with a new idea for the quilt. (Yep… I’m painting a quilt!)

Filters Me was next up. Very exciting phone call. Big plans on the calendar. Can’t share just yet, but it’s coming soon!

Hearth-tender ME was, a bit belatedly, next. #wipwednesday post for Facebook. That was going well until the gremlins ate my first post and I needed to start over. Aaarrrgh!!! And several deep breaths…

By noon, it was time for 15-minute ME to take charge. Red pen. Designated sketch book. Really helpful revisions to the Fairy-Tale-In-Progress.

And, then, a poet ME from the way-back days.

Standing on the Edge

I am standing on the edge.
Toes curled under.
Hanging on.
Like climbing too high on a ladder.
Trying to decide if I’m terrified.
Or
excited.
Knowing that, in my body, the experience is the same.
Knowing that whoever decided we could only feel one feeling at a time was wrong!
Knowing that this is neither good news, nor bad.
The wise old man on the mountain was right.
Trying to glimpse the beyond which is past the edge.
I like beyond.
I like creating.
Abracadabra!
For I will make something of the word.
Though I suspect I’ll make more prayer dots, first!
I am standing at the edge.
Hoping I’m excited!


(slb 10/27/16, from Grandmothers Are In Charge of Hope, edited a bit!)

And, yes… I watched a whole lot of news last night!

Also, a bit of The West Wing. Matt Santos, candidate for President of The United States, speaking in an African American Church, after a tragic shooting. And I’m going to go way out on a limb and guess I’m not the only ME who’s been inspired by this…

He was right. We are tired. And more compassion is required of us. And, slowly, too slowly, things will get better.

For now, though, I’m sticking with excited. And, determined!

Stay tuned…

ps… the photo at the top is from the reverse of my #Celebratrix painting. The more traditional “front” side has a big appearance to make tonight. She wanted you to see this view! ME, too!

pps… let’s talk about HOPE! Like the kind of hope your ME is holding! 45 min. My gift. We’ll blow a bit of dust out of your Medicine Basket and claim the next right thing on your path to the place where Hope lives for you! You show up, real you, with a cuppa, and something to write on and with. Red Thread, if it’s handy. I’ll bring the best stuff I know. Just click here and the calendar elves will hook you up.

’tis the season of mixed messages…

The liturgical calendar probably won’t tell you this, but Saturday saw a record set for the highest pollen count in Atlanta in 35 years! I have no trouble believing this is true. And it’s a good thing Kleenex are on sale!

Dogwoods, azaleas, crepe myrtles, forsythia… they’re all doing their thing to contribute to the pollen! Also dandelions and violets! Even in the front yard!!! And, despite all my training in “appropriate” suburban landscaping, I’m totally okay with all that! Even the asparagus is starting to appear!

There’s more excitement, too. We seem to have a pair of hawks nesting in the big pine tree. No sign of wee ones, yet, but the adults are swooping past the windows in an assertive way, probably claiming their nursery.

All this while dear friends in Canada and Vermont are shoveling snow and the Carolinas are praying for rain.

It all feels quite metaphorical to me, just now. You see, that liturgical calendar I mentioned is also a reminder that there will be more news to come, and it’s going to get harder before it gets better. And I’ll own that I’m looking for comfort. For spiritual sustenance.

Perhaps that’s why the Fairy Tales are flowing! I’ve written three of them this week and I’m really excited! I’m writing in my Story-Gramma voice and it feels utterly natural. It also feels important, for the news is, indeed, going to get harder for many, many of us before it gets better.

And, yes… I’d want to change that if I could. Instead, I’m doing my absolute best to fill junior-size medicine baskets with perceptions and strategies for the journeys ahead.

I’m also making prayer dots. With brushes. With fingertips. Even with glue and buttons! My Guardian Angel painting is adamant. She seems to have claimed the task of teaching us to claim and hold hope. And, yes… I’ll gladly take the bonus truth that all those dots are, literally, neurologically soothing!

There’s also a whole lot of purple going on. For many of us, purple is the color for the seasons of Lent and Advent. It’s also the color of the crown chakra, at the top of the head, representing spirituality, enlightenment and connection to the divine. (The chakra part is more recent learning for me!)

And, I “happen to have” appropriately garbed paintings to share! The one you glimpsed at the top is in charge of choice, voice, and sovereignty.

The one just below is my #workinprogress… even though it’s not Wednesday! On your right is my Guardian Angel. (We’re still sorting the lipstick!) And, on your left, next generations of Guardian Angels-in-training!

I’d love to know what they’re whispering to you!

ps… I just went to re-fill my tea mug and glimpsed a pair of cardinals playing in a rose bush!!! If you could use a sense of ancestors checking in, I’ll gladly share!

pps… you’re invited! Visit FierceArtWithHeart. There’s a big sale in progress and lots of great gifts! (Including the original painting, below… “What the World Needs Now!” ) If you’re new around here and haven’t joined this blog mailing list, join there and save an additional 10% on your purchase!!!

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