Category: Art Journey

First, chaos is a very good description of my dreams last night!

Dreams of the been here before sort. And the pace picked up considerably after I went back to sleep early this morning. (Grandmother Moon was on the job!)

The short version is that I was wandering in the place where history meets the present moment, no matter how much we might wish it didn’t!

And, yes… we’re talking 9/11. How could we not be???

On September 11, in 2001, I was propped up in bed, days out of the hospital, laptop at hand, working on final galley proofs for an upcoming issue of Monday Morning Magazine, of which I was the the editor. Then, the phone rang.

It was the Legendary Husband who said, simply, “Turn on the TV!” and hung up.

I did. And you know what I saw.

Chaos for which I had no box in my brain!

Phone calls were the next right thing. I knew people who worked in the Pentagon. Then, pain meds for the blown disc in my back. Then, panic.

I was supposed to get on a plane to California. My first semester at Pacifica Graduate Institute was about to begin and I was suddenly terrified. Of flying.

Our September class was cancelled. The reading was not. And, when I woke this morning, the first place I headed was a particular bookshelf in my section of our vast library.

Bound copies of Monday Morning from my time as editor. And, rather ironically, a collection of papers from my time at Pacifica. Not all of them… just the ones that mattered to me!

Then, a brief detour to another bookshelf… the one where the biggest, best things I know live. It didn’t take me long to put my hands on this:

Thus empowered with context and memories, I was ready for tea.

First, hear me say that if you haven’t read Van Eenwyk’s book, please do. It’s brilliant. In fact, the preacher/therapist in me appreciates it even more since I’ve become an artist!

For now, though… a bit of my paper entitled, like this post, Notes on an Encounter with Chaos. It begins this way:

I have a secret.

When I get really stressed — when the chaos in my world gets too big or too close, I iron.

Please don’t call me Martha Stewart! It’s not about impressing the neighbors. Nor do I believe it’s impossible for normal humans to feel loved if their pillowcases are not perfectly pressed, monogram and all.

I iron because it is a kinesthetic, olfactory, visual experience of making order out of chaos. Vintage linens are best. If there aren’t any around waiting to be ironed, which is a rare circumstance in my home, I’ll even wash some just so I can iron them!

What I’ve realized, though, as I pondered this assignment, is that my ironing is not simply about the comfort of warm linen under my fingertips, or that peculiar clean scent of steam, or even the gratifying sight of stacks of scraps redeemed from the laundry basket and made beautiful again but, rather, it’s about distracting my either/or conscious mind so that my more creative both/and unconscious mind can work.

Kind of surprisingly, in retrospect, the next line reads:

Painting works, too, by the way!

And, it does! In many, many more ways than I knew in 2001!!! (Starting with the hundreds of dots I made last night!)

In case you’re wondering… no, I don’t iron so much anymore. It’s the order out of chaos bit that matters! Perhaps more now, than ever.

You see, it feels as if there is more chaos to come. Not only in the USA, but in the world.

I have a plan. A three-part plan. It’s not all poetic yet, but it exists and, yes, this is where my Medicine Basket comes in!

1. Re-read Archetypes & Strange Attractors.
2. Keep creating! Paint, words, models for sharing… all the things my mind is quilting together in new ways! (Like Filters!)
3. Put myself out there. (Gulp!) From the book hatching inside me – already known as Revelation! – to teaching and coaching – to an absolute dedication to voting. It’s time!

And one more thing… a vocabulary lesson!

It’s a word you’ve probably heard me mention before. A Hebrew word.

tzcar

It means to remember. It also means to remind! And, now, dear heart, is the time for that!

ps… need help putting yourself out there? Or getting ready to? That’s what I do! To get started, just ask the calendar elves for 45 min. My gift. And, hurry! The fall calendar is filling up!!!

pps… the lovely lady, below, is from an Insight painting. She’s also the cover for turning point vol. 2, a number one bestselling anthology project with chapters by cool writers with great visions for activating the Divine Feminine Within. (And lots of great give-aways!) Just click to get yours!

Well, actually, a couple of them!

The Legendary Husband arrived home from his annual Labor Day field trip with a not-yet-specified coughing and snuffling thing. It’s less scary than it was, but – given the last couple of years – I’m anxious.

I had to skip physical therapy, given the germ uncertainty.

The dryer died. The new one arrived, but without a magic thingy to make it – you know – work. And, yes… there’s laundry waiting in heaps. At least until Friday!

Then there’s the Green Acres adventure. (Remember the old TV show???) Let’s just say that we are seeking an electrician with Nancy Drew aspirations!

Nobody’s sleeping well. Including the people firing guns at about 3:30 am. (I wish they were fireworks, but they weren’t.)

Blessedly, those are not the only things that are true!

The studio has been re-imagined enough to make space for really big canvases.

My paintings are feeling chatty, which I love. And, last night, my Sanctuary #wip actually offered to be sanctuary for my self-in-need-of-soothing.

Not dots, this time. (There are already lots of those!) Instead, roses! (The ones in the glimpse above.) It’s one of those whole brain kinds of things!

The red backgrounds were already in place. It was time for outlines and petals, even though this is not the way we Intentional Creativity® folks often do this sort of thing.

There’s something about following the spaces which are already there that I find relaxing. I think it’s because I don’t have to cope with everything at once. Just a specific space in a specific moment. And – at least in my case – no straight lines!!!

I shared the painting today, in a place where my sister-artists hang out. And I listened to them sharing their work. Ah-hahs and wonderings and what-ifs. All in a safe place.

Which often feels like a whole miracle in itself!

And the inspiration began to flow.

How to deal with the faces in my painting.

Hoots from a owl, longing to be included. And, flowers. Lilies and sunflowers. Because – well – duh!

Here’s the big picture at the moment…

Now, I’ll grant you… my painting journey isn’t going to solve all the problems of the world. (Not even all the problems of my personal world!)

It is helping me to access my soul resources. To remember to hope. To have more tools and perspectives to share with others on the journey.

Here’s an example:

Despite the seeming chaos around me, I was in a meeting today. The kind with sharing and actual listening. One of our leaders spoke of an article she’d read about safe green spaces being too rare in economically struggling urban areas.

A name popped instantly into my head. The name of a local county commissioner who gets it. This guy is all about creative changes like planting food crops on library lawns. And he has the platform to tell more people.

So, Havi tells a story. I hear it. I tell Ted. (Tomorrow!) Ted tells more people, some of whom make budget and policy decisions. And maybe – just maybe – we Atlanta folks have something to do that matters.

And, then, I tell you…

Why???

It’s one of those each one, teach one things.

And, then, there’s my other answer…

I have 2 granddaughters growing up in this world!

One of them is turning 16 tomorrow. And, before too long, she’ll be able to vote!

So, here’s my question…

What’s YOUR Big Why?

Really! I want to know. Leave me a comment, below. Or email me. suesvoice@gmail.com

It’s going to take a whole lot of us… and I have ideas!

For now, though, my next right thing is more painting and pondering.

Nope! Make that painting and wondering!!!

ps… the each one, teach one thing is, according to the College of Education at the University of Arizona, an African proverb that became known in the USA during slavery when Africans were being denied education. When someone learned how to read or write, it became their responsibility to teach someone else… spreading knowledge for the benefit of community!

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Some people like to talk about fearlessness – having no fear – but is that really possible? Courage is feeling fear but doing something anyway.

I read these words Sunday morning, in a Facebook post from Sara Jewell, quoting Morgan Harper Nichols, and passed on by Natalie Moyes.

It really hit home for me. Now. And I should probably warn you that this post is born of my speaking, despite the fear I feel. Despite the tears flowing down my cheeks. You know why… I have 2 granddaughters growing up in this world.

It’s been a hard week for this Grammy.

The irony of the news from Atlanta. The motorcade nearly stopping traffic during Thursday’s rush hour. Huge chucks of interstate roads not open to regular folks. The paradoxical arial shot of all those SUV’s rolling past the stadium at Dr. King’s alma mater, Morehouse College.

I can’t help but wonder at the timing. If you’re from around here – and even if you’re not – you probably know that this weekend marks the 60th anniversary of the March on Washington.

I was 5 years old, 60 years ago, back in the days before all our contemporary ways of accessing news, and I have no memory of these events. Possibly because – in addition to our limited tech options – this would have been one of those things WE didn’t talk about.

(In case you’re curious, money, sex, power, and politics were the other things on that list in my family!)

Monday is the actual 60th anniversary of Dr. King’s speech, I Have a Dream. Members of the King family are expected to join “tens of thousands” in the commemorative march on Monday. One of those members is likely to be Dr. King’s only granddaughter.

A 15 year old, Yolanda Renee King appeared on an MSNBC segment, Saturday, with her parents. I think it was her mother who said that, during her daughter’s lifetime, she has lost rights, rather than gaining them.

And she has. In America. On our watch.

This Saturday also marked Women’s Equality Day, and yes, I signed my name to some petitions. (You could, too!) It’s an election year in the USA and we must speak out for ratifying the ERA. Now! (Okay, I must…)

Then there was the shooting in Jacksonville, FL last night. Three black people killed by a white man with swastikas painted on the rifle he used. And a very young black man – Rep. Maxwell Frost (D, FL) – saying that, in this time, the most likely cause of death for children under the age of 18, in America, is a bullet.

The short version of what I’m feeling in this moment is:

This shit’s gotta stop!

The longer version is the hope that if we all summon our courage, even in the midst of our fear, to speak and act in love, we can make a difference. Maybe not huge, global differences in any given moment, but lots and lots of local differences which will add up to hope.

I’m starting by signing my whole name to this post…

The Rev Dr Susan L Boardman, Gnostic Judeo-Christian Mystic Medicine Woman, walking the Way of Love (aka: The Fiercely Compassionate Rebel Grandmother, For Rent!)

ps… one of the things I’ve learned lately is that the kinds of limiting beliefs which hold us back and keep us afraid often start with the emphatic WE… (Stay tuned!)

pps… the needs-to-be-finished-soon painting at the top is love and hope and courage, even in the midst of those who do not yet see the way. So be it, for each of us…

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