Author: sue boardman

It is time, and long past, in many ways. And the key to the prison door is consciousness!

I had a big lesson in consciousness Saturday night. You know… while I was attempting the thing called sleeping! And, yes, it was one of those nights when the paintings were in charge of my dreams. I should warn you, before we go further, that I don’t have huge new easy answers.

I do have new questions… and you know how much I love that!

First, a smidge of context. I’m going to assume that you know as much as you can handle of what’s going on in the news. Let’s talk about the more personal stuff. The #workinprogress painting you see, above, seems to have decided she’s in charge! And there are, indeed, many layers. Not only of paint, but also of meaning!

Feminine and masculine. Ukraine and – well – autocracy, wherever we encounter it. Peace and deep beliefs. And the pinky-purple figure in the middle who might be me. Or my Muse. Or even the Divine Feminine. (It’s too soon to tell!)

Whoever she is, she is in charge of questions! Many of the answers to those questions often begin with the notion I’m guessing you also grew up with: We always/We never…

I sure did!!! And my grandmothers had a lot of ideas about we! (And, no, they didn’t always match!) Meet Elsie and Elizabeth…

You’ve probably heard my story about moldy fruitcake cookies in Florida. I was middle-school aged when it occurred to me that perhaps we always wasn’t the only viable option! (And, yes… it’s a Filters thing!)

Recently, though, I’ve learned a whole lot more about grandmothers. My grandmothers. And aunts. More than 2000 years worth of them! Some of them considered actual saints, like Aunt Gert, who tended cats to help protect her community from the Black Plague. And Grammy Begga, who helped women have choices other than arranged marriages. And my painting of a circle of Grammies and Aunties whose individual names I do not know, standing beneath a laurel tree in Montsegeur, France, where they risked everything to tell the truth of the Gospel they claimed, in a time when “women didn’t speak”.

There are lots of stories about all of them. Stories I love learning. And yet, they bring questions, too. Here are the three biggies in this moment…

Who am I becoming?

Why?

How?

Here’s what I’m trying to do… to take the best I know of all those stories, learn from that, and live what I can, in this place and time.

Why? is easy! Because I have two grand-teens trying very hard to grow up in this world and I want all our littles to have what they need, in a world where they can breathe, and choose, and feel valued for who they are.

How? is trickier. And I’m not sure there are always/never answers. My best notion is with all of me!

Relationships. Beliefs. Words. Images. Resources. And – here comes the hard part – a truck load of courage! The showing up kind of courage.

And a smidge of faith that those who came before me are learning still, just as I am!

ps… one more thing before we go! AMoR (aka, the Tigon!) is complete. Well, except for edge finishing and signing and a trip to Scan Camp. And she has a question, too! Who are YOU becoming??? And, how can we help??? The calendar elves would be thrilled to hook you up with 45 minutes. Our gift. Your questions and musing! And, if you’re ready, a next right thing!

I am going to take a wild guess that my world isn’t the only one that feels crazier than usual! And, yes – there seem to be several wild cards involved. So… let’s play!

Really!!! Art. Words. Even soup. They all begin with a bunch of random stuff, close enough to reach, and at least somewhat free from directions. (Shhhh… I might not be supposed to mention that last bit!) Just between us, though, I feel like I’m dog paddling in a huge vat of all of those things. And it seems more than a bit like chaos.

Blessedly, the creative kind!

Before we go on, I should probably say that my body isn’t sure that now is the time for all this excitement. It feels like various joints and muscles and nerves are trying to convince me that thinking up new things feels scary and it might be best to stick with safe, familiar plans.

I’m beginning to suspect, though, that actual creativity doesn’t feel safe. And, perhaps, it’s not supposed to. Perhaps we need to want it enough to stretch our notions of possible!

The photo at the top is a glimpse of my stretching in several ways. Orthopedically, for sure. It’s a 48 inch square canvas! And it doesn’t fit on my handy rolling table which complicates things. Then, there’s the fact that I am, officially, behind on this #Abracadabra project. Possibly because I keep starting over!

Finally, though, it feels like I’m getting somewhere! And that may have something to do with the words that are also happening inside me. New ways to tell old stories, in a place we’ve never been before. Stories that are on their way to being at least two books. Probably three or more.

Stories for those with ears to hear!

All of which got considerably more conscious for me a couple of hours ago. After a night of scramble-y dreams, I was pretty tired and decided a brief chair nap was the next right thing.

What I dreamed was ceremony. (There’s a reason for this but for now we’re just going with what happened!)

Music. Cacao. Candles. Words I hold sacred. Paint. And one of those questions! (A question I should note is considerably outside the circle in which I was raised right along my road…)

What if ceremony is an EXPRESSION of the Divine, in me??? In us??? A way we share our experience with others??? A way we live the holiness within us???

Now, I’ll admit this borders on a dangerous question in the context of these times when there seem to be way too many people trying to convince us that they own and control divinity. That is utterly NOT what I’m trying to express.

I’m wandering with the notion of the spark of creation, which dwells in all of us… unless we extinguish it by trying to own and control it.

By that point, though, it was time in the external world, to pull some soup out of the fridge and spend a bit more time with my #Apothecary Map of Reality, slowly taking form on yet another canvas. Fair warning! She’s changed again!!!

My Lioness has chosen to become a Mythic Tigon. The offspring of a male tiger and a female lion. (Yes, research was involved!) Once found in the wild, climate change has, as far as we know, confined them to captivity in our time… which is a pretty big metaphor in itself! For this moment, let’s just go with this being the best expression I’m conscious of for my Map of Reality.

Just after she and I got to this point, I had one of those random thoughts that led me on another Squeegie Hunt.

Erma Bombeck! For real!!! Like the old newspaper columns and the books my mom and granny laughed at.

It took me about two minutes to find what was calling me!

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me!”

Me, too!!!

ps… stay tuned! Filters coming soon to a Zoom room near you!

As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been painting a lioness! If you’ve been hanging around for a bit, you’ve likely guessed that – in reality – she is painting me! Well, creating!!!

We’re not talking purple nails and spattered brand new glasses and leggings where I’ve been known to wipe brush handles when I’m making dots. That’s all true. What’s even more true is what’s changing inside me as this adventure goes on.

First off, I didn’t plan a lioness for this painting. I mean… it’s #Apothecary! You know… mystical healing stuff. Medicine. (Just between us, I didn’t plan the elephant who showed up my last #Apothecary painting, either!)

The lioness has a new job. It’s a Filters thing! She showed up insisting on being my Map of Reality!!! Wrapping my head around that has been quite the journey…

Then, of course, there’s the – you know – painting! Let’s just say there are even more than the usual coats of many, many colors!

The glimpse at the top is the more traditional #Apothecary part. Vessels. Well, a least a couple. And books, which are – in my world – totally vessels, too! And dots, because, well, everything can use prayer dots these days! Most of these are for wisdom. (Which, under certain circumstances could be code for sanity!)

Early this morning, a bear hanging near the bed whispered the big why… why I’ve struggled so to get this particular painting to do what I want.

Somehow, I got Map of Reality confused with Realism!!! My bear buddy pointed out that those are two entirely different notions… and she was right!

Not being primarily a visual processing person, I had been studying photographs of lionesses. Especially white ones. The reality is, though, that realism is totally NOT my thing!!!

Duh!!! And, wow, am I relieved!!!!!!!

The kind of reality this lioness is in charge of is the way I interpret and interact with the world. You have a map of reality, too, though – if you grew up at all like I did – nobody mentioned it. (Stay tuned… we’re going to fix that in May!)

For today, though, there is much to do. The Legendary Husband and I are re-hanging all the rest of the paintings. Gulp!!!

And moving some more furniture. With a bit of car inspecting squashed in there somewhere, too. Food. Laundry. You hear me…

For this moment, I’ll leave you with the best first question ever!

What are you trying to accomplish???

And, yes… I really want to know! (Even if it’s realism!!!) So, I did a deal with the calendar elves. 45 min. My gift. You bring whatever answer you’re hatching from our best first question ever, along with a cuppa, and something to write on & with. Red Thread, if it’s handy. We’ll come up with a next right step! And look at ways I could help… Just click here and find a time!

For now, back to the lioness who is on her way to more mythical than realistic!

ps… as I am, literally, typing these words, Judy Collins, who is 85 years old these days, is singing Turn, Turn, Turn… A ti-i-me of Peace! That, dear hearts, is my big-picture answer. A time of peace! In me. In our home and family. And, yes… in as much of the world as I can reach. Good thing I can paint and write and coach. I’m really not much of a singer!

And, no… I haven’t lost my mind! I think it’s more that my Medicine Basket is in overdrive these days. And the lioness and I agree that this feels like a very good thing!

(Yep! #Apothecary goes on!!!)

Here’s the thing, though… my inner good student seems to have gone on a long vacay. (Well, at least the version of good student I learned in first grade, when learning meant copying – literally – what the teacher did.)

These days, it’s way more about in-spiration! You know… you have a new experience. Maybe ask a new question. And that bumps into some news. And then you get very, very brave and let yourself notice what brings tears rolling down your cheeks. The truth kind of tears! And the next piece of the puzzle appears… eventually!

This one is – in the land of Intentional Creativity® – a rather small canvas. (24×36 inches) And the various parts of me that hurt are grateful for that! In this moment, she’s holding all the cool, separate things I’ve collected along my journey as they become something new. (And even cooler!)

Fortunately, I need lots of dots, too. (Dots are sometimes code for ways to hide and fix things that aren’t working, with intention!!!)

Squint for a moment, if you will, at the green arrow-like space in the top corner. It’s a symbol for all the “information” coming at you, in this moment, from the universe. And, it really, really needs to be in the painting.

It did not, however, want to stick out like some random sore thumb, which is pretty much where we’ve been until now. (Well, about midnight Tuesday!) Finally, a hopeful possibility came to me. It took about 3 more layers after I started, but it works. AND I figured out how to paint something very close to a damask table cloth, should I ever need one of those!!!

Bless her heart, the Lioness is very patiently receiving layer after layer of dots which are, indeed, becoming more fur-like with practice! And she has a name, now!

A-MoR

There’s a whole lot of story behind that name. A whole lot of history that we seem to be wandering in, again. And, there’s a hint of secret code, too, which has a whole lot to do with Filters!

For this moment, let’s just say that she’s on our side. The side of Love!!!

Joan Baez is on our side, too! She showed up, in the land of YouTube, just this morning, in a video I didn’t know before. Singing one of my most favorite songs, which feels even more crucial than it used to, in this moment!!!

ps… thanks to those who have replied… and, I still need some research help! What did you learn, as a child, about things like oracle cards and astrology??? I’m really asking! You can leave a comment, below, or email me. suesvoice@gmail.com One helpful responder will win a museum quality art print!!!

pps… what would be possible if you claimed the very next step on the path to the place where you are called? Ready to find out??? Let’s talk. 45 min. My gift. You sort a time with the calendar elves, fix a cuppa, and bring along something to write on and with. We’ve got this!

It’s celebration season in our family. A birthday in late January. Two more in about a week. One just just a week after that. And, in the middle of all of that, the day many of you know as Valentine’s Day… known around here as Dog Day! aka…The Westminster Kennel Club Show!

The Legendary Husband and I made a deal, early in our marriage. We’d watch Westminster and then – when the liturgical calendar allowed – we’d combine Valentine’s Day and our two birthdays into one major date night.

We’ve been out of sync these last few years. Westminster got moved to later in Spring so they could hold it outdoors during Covid. And, just between us, I’m only now getting to a place where I can manage all those dogs after our Rainbow Bridge journeys with Luther and Phoebe.

Blessedly, due to the miracles of modern science, I’ve been able to make it through the various group judging events in smaller pieces. I’m down to Working Group and Best in Show. (And, I’m assuming I’ve earned a wee break on my FOX-avoidance oath, after all the actual showing I did, back in the day!)

Turns out I can watch the show AND make dots!!! I was grateful for that on Saturday morning, as the plumbing adventure was proceeding in our yard and I needed some comfort in my tea-less, crack of dawn journey with the Herding Group!

My Muse was busy, too. I can almost feel her sorting all the boxes in my cerebral attic!

I found a connection between the treasured tool known as Filters, my #Apothecary painting-in-progress, a piece of furniture I need to paint, and another bit of #Quickening homework that used to seem really other to me, and no longer does!

For this moment, though, Hebrew vowel points. I’m not much better at them than I was all those years ago when I was in Seminary!

Somewhere, though, I’d like to think that, in the great beyond, my two Great Grampies Hezekiah and the still nameless Great Grammies who walked with them, near the beginning of the Common Era, are proud. You see, all those vowel points have to do with me realizing that I am, indeed, choosing to be here, and ready!

That feels like an enormous choice in this moment. It’s also scary in the sense that I’m only just beginning to be clear on what it is that I’m ready for!

What I do know is that, rather like a cosmic Scrabble game, things are coming together inside me. You know… like scrap quilting! Or the gathering that will wind up on that piece of furniture. A gathering of women who are also ready.

For now, though, the lioness’s face is really close to the right shape and it’s time for eyes and other mysteries! And, yes… the green on her chin has got to go!

ps… the Legendary Grammy at the top has decided she’s in charge of all the stuff I’m working on in the moment! Hallelujah!!!

pps… I need some research help! What did you learn, as a child, about things like oracle cards and astrology??? I’m really asking! You can leave a comment, below, or email me. suesvoice@gmail.com One helpful responder will win a museum quality art print!!!

Well, hopefully!!! It’s been a day.

Beginning with a plumber is often a dubious sign. Let’s just say there’s a big leak somewhere between the house and the street which is better than in the house, of course, but still not optimal.

The cold rain isn’t helping much! The symbol which insisted on helping us begin means as above, so below… which feels at least hypothetically encouraging at the moment!

Decided news was not auspicious for blood pressure or sanity. Bless Joan Baez. And Madam Secretary! Yep. Six seasons, basically by heart.

Then there’s the painting.

My current #work-in-progress is insisting on a lioness. I’m delighted. And perplexed. I know exactly why she has appeared. What I don’t know is how to get her to look like she did in my dream!

At this moment, I’ve discovered yet another approach that isn’t working yet. Thus, I suspect, the two insistent words in my head.

Beginner’s Mind!

Before I go on, I need to admit that this was not a big topic of conversation in nursing school or seminary! Some research was in order…

According to someone named Shunryo Suzuki:

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.

I began, the third time, with dots. The kind that do all the brain processing patterns but wind up looking like they were made with a teeny-tiny very raggedy broom and white paint. (It’s relaxing!!!)

A nap is the likely next possibility. (The paint needs to dry!)

I know why it feels like it matters, though. To follow along, we’ll need Leonard Cohen. Really!

There’s a big red line in the painting. Right next to where the lioness wants to be. It holds space for the notion of hineni which is the transliterated Hebrew word I learned as meaning here I am. Rather like Here I am, Lord. Is it I Lord. I have heard you calling in the night…

Yesterday, though, I was watching YouTube. There was a video I hadn’t seen before. Leonard Cohen was talking about the word, hineni and he said that, in addition to Here I am, it can also mean I am ready!

Which suddenly makes that big red line feel a whole lot more significant!!! I mean, READY feels like a very big claim in this moment!

It also seems like a viable reason for – you know – being here!!! And it is, indeed, going to take a whole lot of us!

So, my beginner’s mind and I are going to make space for a nap. Even, perhaps, a dream! Then, I’m going to add the actual word hineni to the big red line. Several times! (I like reminders!)

And, then, I suspect, I’ll see what comes next with the lioness.

I know. There’s quite a way still to go. Like vowel points. And that’s okay. You see, she and I are ready. As ready as we can be for this moment, in this moment. I think it’s her job to show me and my job to claim it!

Paint really is amazing medicine!

ps… Looking for some new tools for your Medicine Basket??? Let’s talk! 45 minutes. My gift. You bring a cuppa, Beginner’s Mind, your journal (or whatever’s handy!) a pen or some markers, and maybe a scrap of red thread. We’ll claim a next right thing! Just click here and the calendar elves will hook you up!

pps… want to learn to paint a really cool angel??? No experience necessary… suitable for tweens & teens! Zoom access. Coming soon! Let me know if you’re interested… suesvoice@gmail.com

I heard a quote this week that I’m feeling grateful for. Kind of surprisingly, it came from a politician!

Rep. Maxwell Frost (D-FL,10) is the first Gen Z member of Congress. He’s had quite the busy week. Here are his words…

Sometimes Hope is a feeling. Hope is also a choice. Choose Hope!

Now, this guy is a bit more than half my son’s age. Adopted as an infant, Frost has Puerto Rican, Lebanese and Haitian roots. A drummer, he performed with his high school band at President Obama’s second inaugural parade. And, now, he’s making all kinds of sense in the midst of what I can only call intentional chaos.

I find it encouraging! Especially in these days when it’s harder than usual for me to feel hope!

As you might have already guessed, prayer dots have been involved!

Choose. Hope. Choose. Hope. Choose. Hope… you get the drift! Fortunately, I have plenty of room for dots!

And, it really helps! First, it slows my pulse, which tends to run fast when I’m anxious.

It also helps surprises to appear in my work. Things I can discover! Things which help me perceive things that might not have gotten in, before. (Yes… it’s a Filters thing!)

Choosing to choose hope is not a happy-sappy-Hallmark-y kind of thing. It’s a “What can I do?” kind of thing. Me. Here. Now.

It’s hard. And we have untold millions of Littles trying very hard to grow up on this planet. Now………………

Tomorrow is a big paint day. About 6 hours worth, all about healing. And, for me at least, about hope. I’ll add a photo for you along the way. For this moment, though… one from the way back machine!

Meet… What the World Needs Now!

Except for her hair and her eyes, she’s virtually all prayer dots. The fingerprint kind, which are my favorite. And every one of them for Love. Which, I suspect you’ve already realized, is a pretty hopeful choice!

And, her message seems to be growing in the context of this moment, when love for all the people seems like a much bigger reach that it did just a few years ago.

I’m not giving up, though. Not now. Not ever. And this is my symbol for… The chains which bound us are broken and we are free already!

ps… all those clean paintbrushes we began with are a pretty great symbol of Hope, too!

pps… know someone who could use some hope??? What the Word Needs Now! is available for adoption! 24×36″ gallery wrapped canvas with great painted edges. Hurry, though! She’s specially priced at $555 dollars… an angel number which signifies significant change, transformation, and personal growth coming your way, she represents transition, freedom, and the need to step outside the comfortable spaces. Just click here, and the shop elves will hook you up! (And be sure to wander a bit while you’re there! We have “able to choose” tank tops, too!)