What do you do when your dreams start to come true?
It’s not that I’ve never been here before. I have. It’s just that I was a lot less conscious then. (And exhausted!) This time feels different, though. Mostly, I suspect, because I’ve been the one deciding what the questions are for the last few years. Here are a few I’ve been experimenting with:
- What matters, not in just my world, but in my relationship with the world?
- What can I actually spend energy on and what needs to be on somebody else’s list?
- How is food a symbol of what I believe? (Edit at will!)
Then there’s the one that (to continue the food theme) is “on the front burner” these days:
- How do I hold onto my chosen belief that everyone’s voice matters, even when I disagree, with every cell in my body, with so many of those everyones?
And, yes, I’ve been watching CNN again. And doing some work on Get Out The Vote efforts in places that need some help just now. And emailing my personal flock of politicians. And making prayer dots.
Lots and lots of dots.
I won’t ask you to believe that I don’t swear at the tv a good bit. Also at my email. And Facebook.
I also cry a good bit. Sometimes even the good kind where you feel touched deep inside where the tears live.
Those are the kind of experiences that just volunteer inside me.
Prayer dots are the ones I choose. Auditory. Kinesthetic. Visual. All at once, which is a good thing in terms of creating new realities.
And every now and then, mostly when my knee is really whining, I sit down and work on reading the extra-canonical Gospel of Thomas which is part of a group of books known as the Nag Hammadi library.
Frankly, I haven’t figured out where to file all this particular newness, just yet.
Here’s what I am sure of… anything that says this is worth wrestling with some more.
If you bring forth what is inside of you, what is inside of you will save you.
Thomas and his friends may have been short on paint deliveries from the Dick Blick guy. I, however, have a deal with him and many, many more dots to make.
ps… This abundance of dots are part of my new painting journey known as Ritual, which, as far as I can tell, is a whole lot about bringing forth what is inside. These are my favorite kind… finger dots!
pss… While we’re pondering big things, this is the day known as Bloody Sunday, when 600 souls began a march from Selma, AL to the state Capitol in Montgomery to mark the death of a man named Jimmie Lee Jackson who was shot and killed by a state trooper while protecting his mother during a civil rights demonstration. One of the Bloody Sunday marchers was the late Congressman John Lewis, who was beaten by police. May we continue the Good Trouble, each in our own way, until it isn’t needed anymore.