From frustration… learning!

Well, hopefully!!! It’s been a day.

Beginning with a plumber is often a dubious sign. Let’s just say there’s a big leak somewhere between the house and the street which is better than in the house, of course, but still not optimal.

The cold rain isn’t helping much! The symbol which insisted on helping us begin means as above, so below… which feels at least hypothetically encouraging at the moment!

Decided news was not auspicious for blood pressure or sanity. Bless Joan Baez. And Madam Secretary! Yep. Six seasons, basically by heart.

Then there’s the painting.

My current #work-in-progress is insisting on a lioness. I’m delighted. And perplexed. I know exactly why she has appeared. What I don’t know is how to get her to look like she did in my dream!

At this moment, I’ve discovered yet another approach that isn’t working yet. Thus, I suspect, the two insistent words in my head.

Beginner’s Mind!

Before I go on, I need to admit that this was not a big topic of conversation in nursing school or seminary! Some research was in order…

According to someone named Shunryo Suzuki:

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.

I began, the third time, with dots. The kind that do all the brain processing patterns but wind up looking like they were made with a teeny-tiny very raggedy broom and white paint. (It’s relaxing!!!)

A nap is the likely next possibility. (The paint needs to dry!)

I know why it feels like it matters, though. To follow along, we’ll need Leonard Cohen. Really!

There’s a big red line in the painting. Right next to where the lioness wants to be. It holds space for the notion of hineni which is the transliterated Hebrew word I learned as meaning here I am. Rather like Here I am, Lord. Is it I Lord. I have heard you calling in the night…

Yesterday, though, I was watching YouTube. There was a video I hadn’t seen before. Leonard Cohen was talking about the word, hineni and he said that, in addition to Here I am, it can also mean I am ready!

Which suddenly makes that big red line feel a whole lot more significant!!! I mean, READY feels like a very big claim in this moment!

It also seems like a viable reason for – you know – being here!!! And it is, indeed, going to take a whole lot of us!

So, my beginner’s mind and I are going to make space for a nap. Even, perhaps, a dream! Then, I’m going to add the actual word hineni to the big red line. Several times! (I like reminders!)

And, then, I suspect, I’ll see what comes next with the lioness.

I know. There’s quite a way still to go. Like vowel points. And that’s okay. You see, she and I are ready. As ready as we can be for this moment, in this moment. I think it’s her job to show me and my job to claim it!

Paint really is amazing medicine!

ps… Looking for some new tools for your Medicine Basket??? Let’s talk! 45 minutes. My gift. You bring a cuppa, Beginner’s Mind, your journal (or whatever’s handy!) a pen or some markers, and maybe a scrap of red thread. We’ll claim a next right thing! Just click here and the calendar elves will hook you up!

pps… want to learn to paint a really cool angel??? No experience necessary… suitable for tweens & teens! Zoom access. Coming soon! Let me know if you’re interested… suesvoice@gmail.com